It's amusing how we always like to seek answers/opinions from the people around us although we already have the answers in our hearts. What is it that despite already having the answers, we still want to hear from others? Is it for assurance? For confirmation? Or is it just for a different perspective?

Often we're 'blinded' by our emotions, and many other factors. Our voice of logic gets drowned by these emotions and we falter. Suddenly, we don't know what to do. We don't see the answer even though the answer is staring straight at our faces. It takes an outsider, someone more clear-headed, to help us 'assess' our situation and to give a sound diagnosis. Most of the time, we have the answer but because of the 'blinding', we overlook, and underlook, and allow self-denial to set in.

We're always looking for answers. I don't know about you. But I'm looking for answers all the time. Since there's a question, then there should be an answer shouldn't it? However, I've come to find out that not every question has an answer to it. It is not the answer or the resolution that matters but how I got to the answer that matters. It's the same with life. It's always not about how you start or how you end but how you go through the mountains and valleys till the finishing line that is important. A friend told me that 'there will never be absolute resolution cos life does not work that way.'

It's been a turbulent few months. I said things I didn't mean to say, and done things I didn't mean to do. I've hurt people I shouldn't hurt and I've hurt myself. In the process of wanting to find answers, I've done and said things that I should never have done/said. I've questioned and I've demanded for answers. People's perspectives and not my own perspectives. People's stands and not my own stands. I'm like a person who is drunk - unsteady, wavering. I don't have an opinion of my own when it comes to important decisions. Like baby microphone said, ' am not big enough to embrace change...I wish I can cough up the willpower to do so....'.

Where is my Rock that will steady me and allow me to lean on? Not literally but metorphorically. The storm will pass, and I will see the rainbow once again.. This lonely phase without you will pass, but will we, or will I have the chance to get to know you once again?

Staring into the Abyss,