.The Abyss.
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Friday, April 29, 2005
Today's the last day of school. Tuesday will see me attempting my first UOL exam. How do I feel? I don't know. There's a tinge of sadness about leaving school, especially knowing that I won't be going up to Year 2 with the friends I've made. Mel who won't be continuing after the exam. Darranz who will be going up to Year 2. Joan who will be going up to Year 2. My twin Jaya who is born on the same day, same year as me. Irum, who skipped school the last 2-3 weeks of school.(TSK!) Jeeshan, though I'm going to disappoint him cuz the 2 modules I'm intending to clear are Uma's modules. I marvel at Jeeshan's intellect. Uma, though she's no longer teaching me but it was she who kept encouraging me to write something for her.
How will I do for the UOL exams? I'm beginning to have doubts now about whether I can clear the 2 modules. Darranz insist that I can. Runima says I can. But how much of what they say should I take into consideration? I found myself feeling doubtful about my answer when I presented my answer. To me, I think I've drifted off-track. But Runima said it was a good attempt. She said she was sure I can pass. Really? Do I have to take it with a pinch of salt?
I beginned the race with a thinking that perhaps, this time I can make it and I won't have to repeat. I ran with my heart wanting to make it happen. Then the hurdles started to appear. I stumbled at the first hurdle, the 2nd hurdle, the 3rd hurdle, and found myself all bruised and broken. This time, it's not going to happen. I've just be holding on to false hope and I've been deceiving myself. I stopped trying to cross the hurdles. I lost the confidence, I lost the self-blief. No point trying. I'm just going to revert to square one. The race is coming to an end, and I don't know how or why, but I started to pick up pace again. I started to run, thinking it's still not to late and I can restore that self-belief. Now, the finishing line is near. I just need to give my last best shot and cross the finishing line, alas, I am no where in sight...
How will I do for the UOL exams? I'm beginning to have doubts now about whether I can clear the 2 modules. Darranz insist that I can. Runima says I can. But how much of what they say should I take into consideration? I found myself feeling doubtful about my answer when I presented my answer. To me, I think I've drifted off-track. But Runima said it was a good attempt. She said she was sure I can pass. Really? Do I have to take it with a pinch of salt?
I beginned the race with a thinking that perhaps, this time I can make it and I won't have to repeat. I ran with my heart wanting to make it happen. Then the hurdles started to appear. I stumbled at the first hurdle, the 2nd hurdle, the 3rd hurdle, and found myself all bruised and broken. This time, it's not going to happen. I've just be holding on to false hope and I've been deceiving myself. I stopped trying to cross the hurdles. I lost the confidence, I lost the self-blief. No point trying. I'm just going to revert to square one. The race is coming to an end, and I don't know how or why, but I started to pick up pace again. I started to run, thinking it's still not to late and I can restore that self-belief. Now, the finishing line is near. I just need to give my last best shot and cross the finishing line, alas, I am no where in sight...
Staring into the Abyss,
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Monday, April 25, 2005
I need to voice my displeasure over Neale Barry who refereed the Manchester United vs Newcastle match. Sir, Andy O'Brian HELD Alan Smith back 3 times and you tell me that is NOT a foul? So would you please explain to me what a foul is then? He was clearly holding back Smith. If you let pass 1, never mind. But 3 times?!?!?!
The Man Utd supporters are frustrated. The manager is frustrated. The players are frustrated. That explained Rooney's reaction after he scored that goal-of-the-season contender goal. The amount of pent-up frustration in him. I would have shouted my guts out after Rooney scored if not for the fact that it's after 12 and my sister is sleeping.
Man Utd are no longer the force to be reckoned with. Somehow, somewhat, teams who perform badly always seem to perform brilliantly when playing against Man Utd. Even a team like Norwich, who has the worse defensive record in the EPL can keep a clean sheet against Man Utd and score 2 goals! What more can 1 expect? We lack something. A desire? A self-belief? The Hunger? Or perhaps, now money is more important to the players.
If Rio chooses to go to another club because Man Utd refuse to meet up to the 120,000 pounds wages, then he doesn't deserve to put on the Man Utd jersey and to have the captain's armband. Don't ever forget Rio. Fergie and Manchester United stood by you when you were banned for 8 months after missing a drugs test. Don't forget who paid your 75,000 pounds a week wages during those 8 months when the other players slogged their guts out on the pitch.
No matter what. Man Utd are still the team closest to my heart. I may sometimes disagree with Fergie's tactics or Fergie's choice of players. But I still believe that we are a team in transition - Playing with a new 4-5-1 position, players like Heinze, Saha, Smith, Kleberson still in their 1st season. We may not have the money to match Chelsea. We may not have Arsenal's flair and Henry's magic. But we have the credentials. And I know, we will go through this period. This is Fergie's toughest period in his 19 years reign. But he will see through it. We will emerge victorious. Again. We'll see the smiles of victory once again. Cuz it's not all doom and gloom yet...
A direct free kick is also awarded to the opposing team if a player commits any of the following four offences:
- tackles an opponent to gain possession of the ball, making contact with the opponent before touching the ball
- holds an opponent
- spits at an opponent
- handles the ball deliberately (except for the goalkeeper within his own penalty area)
(source: http://www.drblank.com/slaw12.htm)
The Man Utd supporters are frustrated. The manager is frustrated. The players are frustrated. That explained Rooney's reaction after he scored that goal-of-the-season contender goal. The amount of pent-up frustration in him. I would have shouted my guts out after Rooney scored if not for the fact that it's after 12 and my sister is sleeping.
Man Utd are no longer the force to be reckoned with. Somehow, somewhat, teams who perform badly always seem to perform brilliantly when playing against Man Utd. Even a team like Norwich, who has the worse defensive record in the EPL can keep a clean sheet against Man Utd and score 2 goals! What more can 1 expect? We lack something. A desire? A self-belief? The Hunger? Or perhaps, now money is more important to the players.
If Rio chooses to go to another club because Man Utd refuse to meet up to the 120,000 pounds wages, then he doesn't deserve to put on the Man Utd jersey and to have the captain's armband. Don't ever forget Rio. Fergie and Manchester United stood by you when you were banned for 8 months after missing a drugs test. Don't forget who paid your 75,000 pounds a week wages during those 8 months when the other players slogged their guts out on the pitch.
No matter what. Man Utd are still the team closest to my heart. I may sometimes disagree with Fergie's tactics or Fergie's choice of players. But I still believe that we are a team in transition - Playing with a new 4-5-1 position, players like Heinze, Saha, Smith, Kleberson still in their 1st season. We may not have the money to match Chelsea. We may not have Arsenal's flair and Henry's magic. But we have the credentials. And I know, we will go through this period. This is Fergie's toughest period in his 19 years reign. But he will see through it. We will emerge victorious. Again. We'll see the smiles of victory once again. Cuz it's not all doom and gloom yet...
Staring into the Abyss,
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Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Noticed a trend amongst babies recently. Most babies are lying in their pram/stroller with either one leg up or both legs up! My dad always tells me to, "Put your leg down!". Wonder how he will react to this babies. Haha!
Anyway, discovered another beautiful song! Michael Buble's Home! I's another sad song as well I feel. Vernetta Lopez was saying over the radio after the song was played and he said, "man. he sure do sound sad don't he?". Been hearing this song at Olio Dome and finally know what the title of the song is. Awesome. Anyone who has his ringtone, please do send it to me alright?
Michael Buble - HOME
Another summer day
Is come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm
Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know
And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
"I'm fine baby, how are you?"
Well I would send them but I know that it's just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that
Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I'm lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I've got to go home
Let me go home
I'm just too far from where you are
I wanna come home
And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life
It's like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
But this was not your dream
But you always believe in me
Another winter day has come
And gone away
And even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home
And I'm surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
Oh, let go home
Oh, I miss you, you know
Let me go home
I've had my run
Baby, I'm done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all right
I'll be home tonight
I'm coming back home
Anyway, discovered another beautiful song! Michael Buble's Home! I's another sad song as well I feel. Vernetta Lopez was saying over the radio after the song was played and he said, "man. he sure do sound sad don't he?". Been hearing this song at Olio Dome and finally know what the title of the song is. Awesome. Anyone who has his ringtone, please do send it to me alright?
Michael Buble - HOME
Another summer day
Is come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm
Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know
And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
"I'm fine baby, how are you?"
Well I would send them but I know that it's just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that
Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I'm lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I've got to go home
Let me go home
I'm just too far from where you are
I wanna come home
And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life
It's like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
But this was not your dream
But you always believe in me
Another winter day has come
And gone away
And even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home
And I'm surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
Oh, let go home
Oh, I miss you, you know
Let me go home
I've had my run
Baby, I'm done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all right
I'll be home tonight
I'm coming back home
Staring into the Abyss,
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Monday, April 18, 2005
After so many times of having to re-type my entry, Blogger finally have this "Recover Post" option. About time huh? That's besides my point. Anyway, I just wanna say that Damien Rice's The Blower's Daughter is currently my favourite song. Heard this song first when I watched the movie Closer starring Jude Law, Julia Roberts and Clive Owens and my memory of the song was jolted again when I heard it on the TV. Will post the song up if I have the opportunity. It's a beautiful song. I always feel like crying whenever I hear the song.
The Blower's Daughter - Damien Rice
and so it is
just like you said it would be
life goes easy on me
most of the time
and so it is
the shorter story
no love no glory
no hero in her skies
i can't take my eyes off of you
and so it is
just like you said it should be
we'll both forget the breeze
most of the time
and so it is
the colder water
the blower's daughter
the pupil in denial
i can't take my eyes off of you
did I say that I loathe you?
did I say that I want to
leave it all behind?
i can't take my mind off of you
my mind
'til I find somebody new
The Blower's Daughter - Damien Rice
and so it is
just like you said it would be
life goes easy on me
most of the time
and so it is
the shorter story
no love no glory
no hero in her skies
i can't take my eyes off of you
and so it is
just like you said it should be
we'll both forget the breeze
most of the time
and so it is
the colder water
the blower's daughter
the pupil in denial
i can't take my eyes off of you
did I say that I loathe you?
did I say that I want to
leave it all behind?
i can't take my mind off of you
my mind
'til I find somebody new
Staring into the Abyss,
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Friday, April 15, 2005
Was doing a close analysis on Dr Faustus the other day when I studied with Darranz. Somehow I have a feeling it's a little too late for me to work hard now. But I guess, I still have to give it one last shot. Not the time to give up now. I love studying with Darranz though it's always VERY stressful.
Faustus fell because he pursued necromancy(magic) and refused to repent. During his time, the renaissance Period, there was a rise in the quest for knowledge. Because of the birth of Science, the people wanted to know more. Religion took a backseat. What was Faustus' flaw? His desire to know more than what he should causes him fall. Necromancy was forbidden at that time, but because of the quest for knowledge, he did what was forbidden and eventually sells his soul to Lucifer to get 24 years of unlimited wealth, power, knowledge and women.
By signing the blood bond with the Devil, Faustus was actually sealing his place in Hell. But the time he tried to repent, it was too late. But was it really too late? In the text, everything seems to be a transaction. Eg: You give me your soul, I give you wealth, power and whatever you desire. You give up all your knowledge and burn your books, I'll give you your salvation.
Salvation, Repentence, Suffering in Hell, Gaining knowledge. They are all but a transaction. Faustus is trying to bargain with God. "God. I'll burn my books if only I don't have to go to hell." What is Marlowe trying to say? That religion is a transaction? That God expects Faustus to obey before giving Faustus his salvation?
Is Faustus wrong in wanting to know more? No. The problem is, he didn't put the knowledge he gained to good use. He said in the text that he wanted to use the knowledge gained to cure diseases but ultimately uses it as a farce. To make fun of the Pope. So is the punishment Faustus gets justified? But since Marlowe is trying to say that religion is a transaction, everything is a transaction, Faustus is not wrong in wanting to know more, and wanting to bargain. The only wrong he did was to sign the blood bond with the Devil. That makes his punishment justified.
So what is my point? Actually I don't have an idea. I think I'm confusing myself.
Faustus fell because he pursued necromancy(magic) and refused to repent. During his time, the renaissance Period, there was a rise in the quest for knowledge. Because of the birth of Science, the people wanted to know more. Religion took a backseat. What was Faustus' flaw? His desire to know more than what he should causes him fall. Necromancy was forbidden at that time, but because of the quest for knowledge, he did what was forbidden and eventually sells his soul to Lucifer to get 24 years of unlimited wealth, power, knowledge and women.
By signing the blood bond with the Devil, Faustus was actually sealing his place in Hell. But the time he tried to repent, it was too late. But was it really too late? In the text, everything seems to be a transaction. Eg: You give me your soul, I give you wealth, power and whatever you desire. You give up all your knowledge and burn your books, I'll give you your salvation.
Salvation, Repentence, Suffering in Hell, Gaining knowledge. They are all but a transaction. Faustus is trying to bargain with God. "God. I'll burn my books if only I don't have to go to hell." What is Marlowe trying to say? That religion is a transaction? That God expects Faustus to obey before giving Faustus his salvation?
Is Faustus wrong in wanting to know more? No. The problem is, he didn't put the knowledge he gained to good use. He said in the text that he wanted to use the knowledge gained to cure diseases but ultimately uses it as a farce. To make fun of the Pope. So is the punishment Faustus gets justified? But since Marlowe is trying to say that religion is a transaction, everything is a transaction, Faustus is not wrong in wanting to know more, and wanting to bargain. The only wrong he did was to sign the blood bond with the Devil. That makes his punishment justified.
So what is my point? Actually I don't have an idea. I think I'm confusing myself.
Staring into the Abyss,
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Friday, April 08, 2005
Yeah! I'm finally done with Great Expectations!! But nothing much to rejoice about though cuz I still have lots more to read. Starting on Ben Jonson's Volpone now. Hopefully I won't take that long. Hopefully I will disciplined. I MUST be disciplined. OH. I just drank Vodka with Red Bull. Wahahaha.
Staring into the Abyss,
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Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Class was cancelled today cuz Jeeshan sprained his back. Actually he hurt his back yesterday but he came for lessons except that he was sitting on the chair throughout the whole 1.5 hrs lessons. We asked him what happened and he said he fell on his back in the morning. Anyway, the class was speculating how he hurt his back. Hahaha.
So what did I do today? Met up with Darranz, Joan, and Vivian to study at PS's Gelare. I spent 3.5 hrs reading Great Expectations with 10 mins of break. I managed to finish 11 chapters but guess what? I STILL HAVE 25 MORE CHAPTERS TO GO!!!!! Oh NO! And to add to the pressure, I still have The Odyssesy, Pride and Prejudice, Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, Villette, Jew of Malta, Waiting for Godot, Endgame, The Merchant of Venice, The Tempest, Hamlet, and the 4 plays by the dreadful BEN JONSON. Like how am I going to ever finish reading? Oh No, No, No!
Anyway, read a piece of news that cheered me up a little and that is, Fann Wong and Christopher Lee are officiately together!! Yay! I've always wanted them to be together cuz I think they're made for each oter. The next Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston! Hope they last though, really hope they will. It's a little silly I know, but I'm just happy that they're together. :)
Watched Spanglish yesterday and The Wedding Date today. Of which, I'll rate the latter with only 2 stars out of 5. Had free tickets so watched The Wedding Date with Joan and Darranz after studying. I dozed off in the cinema towards the end. (All the 11 chapters took its toll on my over-worked brain, see?) Watch the movie only if you have nothing to do. Not a very good show, but there were some eye candies. Haha. Debra Messing - Very cute and beautiful. Jeremy Sheffield - Handsome and Cute dude. Dermot Mulroney - Very charismatic.
Spanglish was good. I'll rate it 3.5 stars out of 5. I thought Tea Leoni acted very well. And oh, I think Paz Vega is gorgeous. :) Alot of movies still that I wanna watch. But movie tickets are getting costlier and costlier!!! It's going to $9 for weekend I think. Piracy is going to go up for sure. -sigh-
So what did I do today? Met up with Darranz, Joan, and Vivian to study at PS's Gelare. I spent 3.5 hrs reading Great Expectations with 10 mins of break. I managed to finish 11 chapters but guess what? I STILL HAVE 25 MORE CHAPTERS TO GO!!!!! Oh NO! And to add to the pressure, I still have The Odyssesy, Pride and Prejudice, Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, Villette, Jew of Malta, Waiting for Godot, Endgame, The Merchant of Venice, The Tempest, Hamlet, and the 4 plays by the dreadful BEN JONSON. Like how am I going to ever finish reading? Oh No, No, No!
Anyway, read a piece of news that cheered me up a little and that is, Fann Wong and Christopher Lee are officiately together!! Yay! I've always wanted them to be together cuz I think they're made for each oter. The next Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston! Hope they last though, really hope they will. It's a little silly I know, but I'm just happy that they're together. :)
Watched Spanglish yesterday and The Wedding Date today. Of which, I'll rate the latter with only 2 stars out of 5. Had free tickets so watched The Wedding Date with Joan and Darranz after studying. I dozed off in the cinema towards the end. (All the 11 chapters took its toll on my over-worked brain, see?) Watch the movie only if you have nothing to do. Not a very good show, but there were some eye candies. Haha. Debra Messing - Very cute and beautiful. Jeremy Sheffield - Handsome and Cute dude. Dermot Mulroney - Very charismatic.
Spanglish was good. I'll rate it 3.5 stars out of 5. I thought Tea Leoni acted very well. And oh, I think Paz Vega is gorgeous. :) Alot of movies still that I wanna watch. But movie tickets are getting costlier and costlier!!! It's going to $9 for weekend I think. Piracy is going to go up for sure. -sigh-
Staring into the Abyss,
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Sunday, April 03, 2005
When in the world wide world am I going to finish reading Dickens' Great Expectations? And when in the world wide world am I going to finish reading all the text required by my course??? Counting down the days to dooms day, or rather, dooms week...
Staring into the Abyss,
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