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Thursday, July 27, 2006
Sorry Bro, I just had to share this! =P
Darran Ho interviewed the delectable Louis Koo, and took a picture with him. Look at that smug smirk on his (darran) face!
BUT him being a good friend, he brought Mel and I along too! (In our dreams...)
All hail photoshop!
Darran Ho interviewed the delectable Louis Koo, and took a picture with him. Look at that smug smirk on his (darran) face!
BUT him being a good friend, he brought Mel and I along too! (In our dreams...)
All hail photoshop!
Staring into the Abyss,
(0) comments
Sunday, July 23, 2006
If life is a computer game like The Sims 2, what will your life be like? Melissa got me hooked on The Sims 2 a year ago and although I only have The Sims 2: University Life and The Sims 2: Nightlife, it is enough for me to blog a whole entry about it.
The Sims 2 is a simulator game in which you create your own characters. They're like normal beings except they live in a different world as us, i.e. the cyber world. They're born and they die. Like us, they go to school, they go to work, they date, they get married, they have children. They go through the pain of a broken marriage or death and they also go through the joy of completing their degree and owning their first car.
Being a player, we control their world - we choose for them the colour of their hair, the shape and size of their eyes, the sharpness of their nose, their skin colour, what job to take, who to marry, how many children to have etc. We help to fulfill their dreams and to realize their fears. In short, we are actually playing God. We are like a Higher Being telling them what to do and how to do. We tell them when to sleep, when to study, what to eat, how to behave (whether to lick clean the plates after dinner or to kick rubbish bins away).
From my personal point of view, this game is about how the subconscious can be revealed in the conscious. When the repressed doesn’t need to hide and can show itself in its true form. There is a kind of liberated freedom.
I usually start off with a single SIM and get him/her married after he/she has obtained a degree. Then they have 2 kids, nothing more because it will be much harder to "manage/control" if you have too many people living under one roof. (Also, due to lack of RAM and computer space, I have to make do with a family of 4). Seemingly, I have a happy family. They live in a big house; with everything they need in the house. Pool table, barbeque pits, swimming pool, karaoke system, bookshelf, drum set, guitars, bass, bookshelf, exercise equipment and they drive a cool sports car.
There is no lack and everyone is happy. The parents go to work, the children attend private schools, and in between schooling and working, they find time to date, to socialize, and to gain skills (by reading cook books, working out on the treadmill etc). Everything seems usual, but wouldn't be life be a little boring this way? So, to spice things up, all my SIMS cheat on one another. To be it simply, they commit adultery. Father SIM will make out with friend A when mother SIM is at work, and mother SIM will make out with friend B when father SIM is at work. It can be anyone - the maid, the gardener, the fireman, and their friends. And, it doesn't have to be a heterosexual relationship. (Meaning, homosexuality is allowed.) The only thing is not getting caught.
It's unusual because people usually create something that they want to see or something they desire. Perhaps I think too much, but learning about Psychoanalysis has taught me that it's not so simple as playing a game. The family I create is a projection. And according to Sigmund Freud, projections are the expressions of who we unconsciously want to be or how we want to act but cannot. We do not create/write what we want according to our conscious self but reveal instead our unconscious projection of our fears, anxiety and guilt.
What do you think I'm trying to tell you? Remember, it is not about what I write, but what I don't write that reveals the most about me. The author is dead, and in this case I am dead. Meaning lies in the perception of you, the reader..
Anyway, I have been banned from playing The SIMS 2 and the game is now sitting quietly on my shelf. A new expansion is out though, The SIMS 2: Open for Business.
The Sims 2 is a simulator game in which you create your own characters. They're like normal beings except they live in a different world as us, i.e. the cyber world. They're born and they die. Like us, they go to school, they go to work, they date, they get married, they have children. They go through the pain of a broken marriage or death and they also go through the joy of completing their degree and owning their first car.
Being a player, we control their world - we choose for them the colour of their hair, the shape and size of their eyes, the sharpness of their nose, their skin colour, what job to take, who to marry, how many children to have etc. We help to fulfill their dreams and to realize their fears. In short, we are actually playing God. We are like a Higher Being telling them what to do and how to do. We tell them when to sleep, when to study, what to eat, how to behave (whether to lick clean the plates after dinner or to kick rubbish bins away).
From my personal point of view, this game is about how the subconscious can be revealed in the conscious. When the repressed doesn’t need to hide and can show itself in its true form. There is a kind of liberated freedom.
I usually start off with a single SIM and get him/her married after he/she has obtained a degree. Then they have 2 kids, nothing more because it will be much harder to "manage/control" if you have too many people living under one roof. (Also, due to lack of RAM and computer space, I have to make do with a family of 4). Seemingly, I have a happy family. They live in a big house; with everything they need in the house. Pool table, barbeque pits, swimming pool, karaoke system, bookshelf, drum set, guitars, bass, bookshelf, exercise equipment and they drive a cool sports car.
There is no lack and everyone is happy. The parents go to work, the children attend private schools, and in between schooling and working, they find time to date, to socialize, and to gain skills (by reading cook books, working out on the treadmill etc). Everything seems usual, but wouldn't be life be a little boring this way? So, to spice things up, all my SIMS cheat on one another. To be it simply, they commit adultery. Father SIM will make out with friend A when mother SIM is at work, and mother SIM will make out with friend B when father SIM is at work. It can be anyone - the maid, the gardener, the fireman, and their friends. And, it doesn't have to be a heterosexual relationship. (Meaning, homosexuality is allowed.) The only thing is not getting caught.
It's unusual because people usually create something that they want to see or something they desire. Perhaps I think too much, but learning about Psychoanalysis has taught me that it's not so simple as playing a game. The family I create is a projection. And according to Sigmund Freud, projections are the expressions of who we unconsciously want to be or how we want to act but cannot. We do not create/write what we want according to our conscious self but reveal instead our unconscious projection of our fears, anxiety and guilt.
What do you think I'm trying to tell you? Remember, it is not about what I write, but what I don't write that reveals the most about me. The author is dead, and in this case I am dead. Meaning lies in the perception of you, the reader..
Anyway, I have been banned from playing The SIMS 2 and the game is now sitting quietly on my shelf. A new expansion is out though, The SIMS 2: Open for Business.
Staring into the Abyss,
(3) comments
Friday, July 21, 2006
This is my 2nd week at MDIS so I decided to post some pictures and blog a little bit about school.
I usually reach school at about 8.40am in the morning and then I'll wait outside the classroom for my lecturer to arrive about 5-10 mins later.
Here's an overview of my classroom and it is actually 2 classrooms combined.
There are about 87 people in my class and I'm still wondering why so many people are taking Mass Communications. There are pros and cons to a big class and I'd like to think that there are more cons than pros. Lecture starts at 9, but people are still strolling in after 9.15am. The class is full only after 9.40am. One of the gals who sit beside me will come in after 9 and then ask me, "why you reach so early?"
To me, punctuality is a virtue and when you are constantly late, it shows that you are not showing respect to the one you are meeting, and in this case, the lecturer and the other students. I try not to be late, and sure there are times when something unexpected crops up, but I try not to be too late. (Ok my boss and Shi, Cherie and Sal, I know I was late for 2 hrs that day, but I had to meet 1 group of people after another so... I'm sorry! It won't happen again! hehe)
Anyway, I like my marketing lecturer. His name is Roland Kiew and he reminds me of my secondary school maths teacher. (SACians, think Mdm Bey aka Mrs Lim aka In General..) He has a problem pronouncing some words and because of this, the students make fun of him. He pronouces "decison" as "de-see-sions", "lady" as "leh-dy". Swimming pool as, "Shrimming pool". He told us before that because he had a tooth extracted he just problems getting some words out. Can you imagine just 10 students trying to imitate him say, "de-se-sion"? So you'll keep hearing "de-see-sion"..."de-see-sion"..."de-see-sion" and half the time, my lecturer will just blush and continue teaching while different groups of the class will giggle. So poor thing right?
And, I don't know if I'm the unfriendly one or the rest are super friendly. Just the other day, these 2 gals sitting behind me tapped me and asked me for my name. Then they asked me about where I stay, what I do, and whether I play mahjong. After a while, they tapped me again and asked, "you wanna play mahjong later?" So I replied, "Huh? Where? Just the 3 of us?" 1 of them replied, "At her house. We can find someone else..." To which I politely shook my head and said, "no la. I don't think so."
The next day, the mahjong gals sat beside me in class and started talking to me. Again, they asked me weird questions. Questions like, "Do you have a boyfriend? This course very slack right? Should I take tourism? Why don't you take tourism as well? Can I have your number so I can ask you out?" I was like, "Er?????"
Today, we had group discussion and because the mahjong gals left after the break, I got to know new people. So it was the usual what's your name, how old are you etc. Then halfway through, 1 of the gals asked me, "where are you going later? you wanna go play pool with us? At town?" Again, I said, "er. no. I'm going home."
So tell me, are they being friendly or am I being unfriendly? I always thought that we'll start hanging out i.e play pool, play mahjong, go for movies after getting to know each other for 4-5 days? I mean, you don't ask someone out immediately after getting to know them right? No? I don't even know their names! But that is because I didn't ask (=P), still isn't it quite weird that you'll ask someone you don't really know or you don't know at all to play mahjong at your place?
Am I weird or are they weird??
I usually reach school at about 8.40am in the morning and then I'll wait outside the classroom for my lecturer to arrive about 5-10 mins later.
Here's an overview of my classroom and it is actually 2 classrooms combined.
There are about 87 people in my class and I'm still wondering why so many people are taking Mass Communications. There are pros and cons to a big class and I'd like to think that there are more cons than pros. Lecture starts at 9, but people are still strolling in after 9.15am. The class is full only after 9.40am. One of the gals who sit beside me will come in after 9 and then ask me, "why you reach so early?"
To me, punctuality is a virtue and when you are constantly late, it shows that you are not showing respect to the one you are meeting, and in this case, the lecturer and the other students. I try not to be late, and sure there are times when something unexpected crops up, but I try not to be too late. (Ok my boss and Shi, Cherie and Sal, I know I was late for 2 hrs that day, but I had to meet 1 group of people after another so... I'm sorry! It won't happen again! hehe)
Anyway, I like my marketing lecturer. His name is Roland Kiew and he reminds me of my secondary school maths teacher. (SACians, think Mdm Bey aka Mrs Lim aka In General..) He has a problem pronouncing some words and because of this, the students make fun of him. He pronouces "decison" as "de-see-sions", "lady" as "leh-dy". Swimming pool as, "Shrimming pool". He told us before that because he had a tooth extracted he just problems getting some words out. Can you imagine just 10 students trying to imitate him say, "de-se-sion"? So you'll keep hearing "de-see-sion"..."de-see-sion"..."de-see-sion" and half the time, my lecturer will just blush and continue teaching while different groups of the class will giggle. So poor thing right?
And, I don't know if I'm the unfriendly one or the rest are super friendly. Just the other day, these 2 gals sitting behind me tapped me and asked me for my name. Then they asked me about where I stay, what I do, and whether I play mahjong. After a while, they tapped me again and asked, "you wanna play mahjong later?" So I replied, "Huh? Where? Just the 3 of us?" 1 of them replied, "At her house. We can find someone else..." To which I politely shook my head and said, "no la. I don't think so."
The next day, the mahjong gals sat beside me in class and started talking to me. Again, they asked me weird questions. Questions like, "Do you have a boyfriend? This course very slack right? Should I take tourism? Why don't you take tourism as well? Can I have your number so I can ask you out?" I was like, "Er?????"
Today, we had group discussion and because the mahjong gals left after the break, I got to know new people. So it was the usual what's your name, how old are you etc. Then halfway through, 1 of the gals asked me, "where are you going later? you wanna go play pool with us? At town?" Again, I said, "er. no. I'm going home."
So tell me, are they being friendly or am I being unfriendly? I always thought that we'll start hanging out i.e play pool, play mahjong, go for movies after getting to know each other for 4-5 days? I mean, you don't ask someone out immediately after getting to know them right? No? I don't even know their names! But that is because I didn't ask (=P), still isn't it quite weird that you'll ask someone you don't really know or you don't know at all to play mahjong at your place?
Am I weird or are they weird??
Staring into the Abyss,
(3) comments
I started on something a month ago in a bid to advocate a change in my life. One month has since passed, and to be honest, it hasn't been easy. Everyday has been a mad mad struggle. I feel exposed. Feel as though the whole world now knows my darkest, deepest, dirtiest secret. The brutality of the truth and the unrelenting pressure from trying to change and choose Good is torturous. The agony of not being able to go through the week unscathed and the need of having to try again, and again, and again, and again is sometimes...trying. The guilt and the shame that follows after suffocates.
The night seems longer. The silence in the head pounds louder.
They tell me I must persist and I must press on. They said they are believing for me and with me. Rev Robb Thompson said Good is a choice and evil, a persuasion. Coleridge said that Hope without an object cannot live. In this case, where or what is my object?
Someone also told me before that the road to change is painful, and the road back into the Light can sometimes be still kind of dark. But this someone also said she wanted me to keep walking and to keep wanting to change. This "trying to change" has made me realize what a horrible person I am, and how it seems I am always not big enough to overcome. I'm tired of pretending - pretending that nothing happened and that everything is normal. Life goes on, but it is definitely not normal.
She asked me if I knew what the meaning of Perseverance was last night and she must have been trying to tell me to persevere, to hang in there. Today is the start of another week and I almost faltered again. Thankfully, I remembered just in time about what she said yesterday and what she has always been saying to me. I must not yield, and I must persevere. I must not falter again and I must get through the week unscathed. But, what a tall order it is for me to accomplish…
Monday, July 17, 2006
"Do you know what is the meaning of Perseverance…? Continuing on a course of action despite previous setbacks or failures…"
I started on something a month ago in a bid to advocate a change in my life. One month has since passed, and to be honest, it hasn't been easy. Everyday has been a mad mad struggle. I feel exposed. Feel as though the whole world now knows my darkest, deepest, dirtiest secret. The brutality of the truth and the unrelenting pressure from trying to change and choose Good is torturous. The agony of not being able to go through the week unscathed and the need of having to try again, and again, and again, and again is sometimes...trying. The guilt and the shame that follows after suffocates.
The night seems longer. The silence in the head pounds louder.
They tell me I must persist and I must press on. They said they are believing for me and with me. Rev Robb Thompson said Good is a choice and evil, a persuasion. Coleridge said that Hope without an object cannot live. In this case, where or what is my object?
Someone also told me before that the road to change is painful, and the road back into the Light can sometimes be still kind of dark. But this someone also said she wanted me to keep walking and to keep wanting to change. This "trying to change" has made me realize what a horrible person I am, and how it seems I am always not big enough to overcome. I'm tired of pretending - pretending that nothing happened and that everything is normal. Life goes on, but it is definitely not normal.
She asked me if I knew what the meaning of Perseverance was last night and she must have been trying to tell me to persevere, to hang in there. Today is the start of another week and I almost faltered again. Thankfully, I remembered just in time about what she said yesterday and what she has always been saying to me. I must not yield, and I must persevere. I must not falter again and I must get through the week unscathed. But, what a tall order it is for me to accomplish…
Staring into the Abyss,
(2) comments
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Presenting the new Manchester United Home Jersey 2006/07...
I want... I want... I want...
I want... I want... I want...
Staring into the Abyss,
(0) comments
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Most of you don't know this, but, I have a shop in Adelaide! Actually I have franchises in the other cities of Australia too. :)
So for those of you who don't know me, or who just got to know me, you just learnt something new about me! ( It's not too late to know because I just learnt about it too! =P )
So for those of you who don't know me, or who just got to know me, you just learnt something new about me! ( It's not too late to know because I just learnt about it too! =P )
Staring into the Abyss,
(0) comments
Saturday, July 08, 2006
This is an entry mainly to taunt Peishi about how my table is now spanking clean. =D
I told myself that I need to clear my messy table before I start school on Monday cuz my table is atrociously messy and cluttered. Besides, it has been a few months since I last packed my table and you know, what they always say about being busy, being lazy, it's true! But because I told myself I will do it before school starts and before my holidays end, I did it. So, to encourage and to provoke Peishi, I took some pictures. I didn't take the "before" pictures because it didn't cross my mind at that time.
So Peishi, LOOK! I did it for you! =P
my whole table. 
the left side of my table. 
the right side of my table. 
my book shelf. 
left side of the book shelf. 
right side of the book shelf. 
Not bad right????? So much space to use!
And, as I was clearing my old bag which was full of holes, I took out all the coins that had dropped inside for the few months. And guess how much was the value of ALL the coins? It came to a whooooping S$111.65/-!! Haha! I have S$111.65/- worth of coins in my bag! That sure does explain why my bag is always so heavy. I'm rich! =D
my S$111.65/- worth of coins. 
I told myself that I need to clear my messy table before I start school on Monday cuz my table is atrociously messy and cluttered. Besides, it has been a few months since I last packed my table and you know, what they always say about being busy, being lazy, it's true! But because I told myself I will do it before school starts and before my holidays end, I did it. So, to encourage and to provoke Peishi, I took some pictures. I didn't take the "before" pictures because it didn't cross my mind at that time.
So Peishi, LOOK! I did it for you! =P
Not bad right????? So much space to use!
And, as I was clearing my old bag which was full of holes, I took out all the coins that had dropped inside for the few months. And guess how much was the value of ALL the coins? It came to a whooooping S$111.65/-!! Haha! I have S$111.65/- worth of coins in my bag! That sure does explain why my bag is always so heavy. I'm rich! =D
Staring into the Abyss,
(0) comments
Friday, July 07, 2006
Sometimes we all have this crazy thinking that we're superheroes.
Wouldn’t it be nice to be like Superman? To be faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound?
Or Batman? Who doesn't possess any superpowers yet uses his resourcefulness, insight, and years of rigorous training to make up for the absence of any other special abilities? To be physically at the peak of human ability, and intellectually, peerless?
Or maybe even Spiderman? To have the ability to cling to walls, superhuman strength, a sixth sense ("Spider-Sense") that alerts us to danger, perfect balance and equilibrium, and greatly enhanced speed and agility?
Life will be so much interesting to live this way right? You lead a less than spectacular life in the day, and at night, you fight crimes that leaves your best friend in awe and your enemies shaking in their pants. You don't worry about losing the battle because it's a "sure-win" situation. And at the end of the day, Good will always triumph over the evil.
How nice if our lives work this way.
But we all tend to forget sometimes that we are human beings. Normal human beings who can feel, who will make mistakes, who will fall. Human beings who are less than perfect.
There's only so much our shoulders can take, and so much space our hearts can contain.
We’re not immune to the pain, the anger, the bitterness, the disappointments, the temptations this world throws at us no matter how we are always sure we are. We’re not spared from the agony of losing that someone dear, or from loving that someone who doesn't love us back, but such is life.
We can always be thinking of others before we think for ourselves.
We can be doing a million and one things for people everyday.
We can be caring and loving every single person.
But for how long?
For how long can we remain selfless?
For how long before the rejection and disappointments from people set in?
For how long before we tire out?
For how long before we decide we wanna stop loving?
Vladimir Nabokov once said, "Imagination, the supreme delight of the immortal and the immature, should be limited. In order to enjoy life, we should not enjoy it too much."
Wouldn’t it be nice to be like Superman? To be faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound?
Or Batman? Who doesn't possess any superpowers yet uses his resourcefulness, insight, and years of rigorous training to make up for the absence of any other special abilities? To be physically at the peak of human ability, and intellectually, peerless?
Or maybe even Spiderman? To have the ability to cling to walls, superhuman strength, a sixth sense ("Spider-Sense") that alerts us to danger, perfect balance and equilibrium, and greatly enhanced speed and agility?
Life will be so much interesting to live this way right? You lead a less than spectacular life in the day, and at night, you fight crimes that leaves your best friend in awe and your enemies shaking in their pants. You don't worry about losing the battle because it's a "sure-win" situation. And at the end of the day, Good will always triumph over the evil.
How nice if our lives work this way.
But we all tend to forget sometimes that we are human beings. Normal human beings who can feel, who will make mistakes, who will fall. Human beings who are less than perfect.
There's only so much our shoulders can take, and so much space our hearts can contain.
We’re not immune to the pain, the anger, the bitterness, the disappointments, the temptations this world throws at us no matter how we are always sure we are. We’re not spared from the agony of losing that someone dear, or from loving that someone who doesn't love us back, but such is life.
We can always be thinking of others before we think for ourselves.
We can be doing a million and one things for people everyday.
We can be caring and loving every single person.
But for how long?
For how long can we remain selfless?
For how long before the rejection and disappointments from people set in?
For how long before we tire out?
For how long before we decide we wanna stop loving?
Vladimir Nabokov once said, "Imagination, the supreme delight of the immortal and the immature, should be limited. In order to enjoy life, we should not enjoy it too much."
Staring into the Abyss,
(1) comments
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Last night, I msg-ed Darran something. This morning, this was what he replied,
This, is Darran. Words is not enough to describe him.
Nothing worth doing is not scary. But you have to take the leap and just try it. Otherwise, what's the point of living?
This, is Darran. Words is not enough to describe him.
Staring into the Abyss,
(0) comments
Monday, July 03, 2006
Friday was officiately my last day of work. How delightful it was for me when I went to work with fever, flu and sorethroat. Can you imagine being sick on your last day of work? I mean, there are days when you wish and wish you are sick so you can take MC but these are usually the days that you don't get sick and the days that you shouldn't fall sick, you report sick. How exasperating.
I worked harder than I usually did on Friday because I told myself the day before that I was going to clear all my work and not leave any backlog. I had files waiting to be packed into boxes, mails to sort, missing files to locate, insureds to tend to, files to open and to file away, and not to mention the other misc stuff that the full-time staff will require me to do. I was racing against time, and battling the urge to sleep. I was burning and freezing at the same time. And I was also busy trying to co-ordinate my hands to write and my nose to sneeze. Awful.
But praise God, I cleared everything! I moved 12 boxes to the 21st floor, finished opening all the files that I had on my hand. Filed away everything and basically completed all I was required to do. I leave knowing that I have been a good finisher. Thank God for His Grace!
It's all over now and it's time for me to bask in my 1 week holiday which begins today while I await my next challenge..
I worked harder than I usually did on Friday because I told myself the day before that I was going to clear all my work and not leave any backlog. I had files waiting to be packed into boxes, mails to sort, missing files to locate, insureds to tend to, files to open and to file away, and not to mention the other misc stuff that the full-time staff will require me to do. I was racing against time, and battling the urge to sleep. I was burning and freezing at the same time. And I was also busy trying to co-ordinate my hands to write and my nose to sneeze. Awful.
But praise God, I cleared everything! I moved 12 boxes to the 21st floor, finished opening all the files that I had on my hand. Filed away everything and basically completed all I was required to do. I leave knowing that I have been a good finisher. Thank God for His Grace!
It's all over now and it's time for me to bask in my 1 week holiday which begins today while I await my next challenge..
Staring into the Abyss,
(0) comments