.The Abyss.
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Thursday, September 21, 2006
The Actor™
The stage is set,
the curtains are drawn.
He stands at the side transfixed;
undaunted by the massive crowd.
The Chorus Sings;
The Muse begins to speak.
He puts on his mask
and starts to take his place.
He teases and he taunts.
He thrills and he charms.
The audience watch in awe,
enthralled by this man -
whose every step exudes confidence,
and whose every word strikes fear.
He teases and he taunts.
He thrills and he charms.
Yet beneath this beautiful disguise,
hides a man which a broken heart
that he's left to nurse by himself.
No one sees, no one hears.
When the curtain falls
and the audience stands to applaud,
He takes one last bow
and slowly makes his way home, alone.
` kAeJ™
21/09/06
The stage is set,
the curtains are drawn.
He stands at the side transfixed;
undaunted by the massive crowd.
The Chorus Sings;
The Muse begins to speak.
He puts on his mask
and starts to take his place.
He teases and he taunts.
He thrills and he charms.
The audience watch in awe,
enthralled by this man -
whose every step exudes confidence,
and whose every word strikes fear.
He teases and he taunts.
He thrills and he charms.
Yet beneath this beautiful disguise,
hides a man which a broken heart
that he's left to nurse by himself.
No one sees, no one hears.
When the curtain falls
and the audience stands to applaud,
He takes one last bow
and slowly makes his way home, alone.
` kAeJ™
21/09/06
Staring into the Abyss,
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Saturday, September 16, 2006
I figured that if I cannot get my hands on the new Man Utd away jersey, I might as well just take a picture of myself wearing it.
I secretly took a picture in the changing room and although Des was with me, I couldn't possibly ask him into the changing room with me and get him to take a picture for me right? So just gotta make do with a mirror image of me wearing the new Man Utd jersey. Cheap thrill I know, but who cares? At least it made me happy.
The new away jersey sure does looks nicer than the home jersey. But $114/- for a jersey is definitely quite costly for a poor student like me... Sigh.
I secretly took a picture in the changing room and although Des was with me, I couldn't possibly ask him into the changing room with me and get him to take a picture for me right? So just gotta make do with a mirror image of me wearing the new Man Utd jersey. Cheap thrill I know, but who cares? At least it made me happy.
The new away jersey sure does looks nicer than the home jersey. But $114/- for a jersey is definitely quite costly for a poor student like me... Sigh.
Staring into the Abyss,
(1) comments
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Last night I had the saddest dream ever.
I hope it never happens....
I knew where he was. Knew the exact location. But I looked and looked and looked and looked but I just couldn't find him. I couldn't reach my destination. Couldn't reach the location where he was. There was just so many interruptions. So many obstructions. In the end, I lost him.
I remember that I used to have such dreams before. 2 of them which I remember vividly. Both, involving calling for ambulances but the ambulances never arrived. The first one was to save me, and the second one to save someone. I remember after the first dream, somehow in the second dream which happened on a different night, when I called for the ambulance, there was an extra sense of desperation. I kept telling the ambulance that it must come, yet I had a feeling that it wouldn't again, and true enough the ambulance didn't arrive. I waited and I waited and I waited. I called and I called and I called. But no, the ambulance still did not reach it's destination.
What is wrong?
What is with these "unable to reach your destination" dreams? What is with all the obstructions that is stopping me from reaching my destination? Why? Why? Why? Why show me a glimpse of hope and then take it away? Why in the most desperate moments nothing happens? Why??
I hope it never happens....
I knew where he was. Knew the exact location. But I looked and looked and looked and looked but I just couldn't find him. I couldn't reach my destination. Couldn't reach the location where he was. There was just so many interruptions. So many obstructions. In the end, I lost him.
I remember that I used to have such dreams before. 2 of them which I remember vividly. Both, involving calling for ambulances but the ambulances never arrived. The first one was to save me, and the second one to save someone. I remember after the first dream, somehow in the second dream which happened on a different night, when I called for the ambulance, there was an extra sense of desperation. I kept telling the ambulance that it must come, yet I had a feeling that it wouldn't again, and true enough the ambulance didn't arrive. I waited and I waited and I waited. I called and I called and I called. But no, the ambulance still did not reach it's destination.
What is wrong?
What is with these "unable to reach your destination" dreams? What is with all the obstructions that is stopping me from reaching my destination? Why? Why? Why? Why show me a glimpse of hope and then take it away? Why in the most desperate moments nothing happens? Why??
Staring into the Abyss,
(2) comments
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday...
Staring into the Abyss,
(1) comments
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Perserverance™
When it feels like I wanna give in
and throw in the towel,
I'll pause and remember
why in the first place, I held on for so long.
When it feels like I can't make it on my own
and I'm moving closer to the edge,
I'll fix my gaze upon You
knowing assuredly that I'm not alone.
When the voice of the world overwhelms,
and the nights take forever to break into dawn,
I'll persevere and press on
knowing that Day will eventually come..
` kAeJ
03/09/06
When it feels like I wanna give in
and throw in the towel,
I'll pause and remember
why in the first place, I held on for so long.
When it feels like I can't make it on my own
and I'm moving closer to the edge,
I'll fix my gaze upon You
knowing assuredly that I'm not alone.
When the voice of the world overwhelms,
and the nights take forever to break into dawn,
I'll persevere and press on
knowing that Day will eventually come..
` kAeJ
03/09/06
Staring into the Abyss,
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Saturday, September 02, 2006
I went back to the office on friday to have lunch with Wendy, and I must say it was good to be back. I was quite embarrassed to go up empty-handed so despite being poor (hahaha. after my relegation to a poor student la!), I went up with different varieties of chocolates.
Everyone stopped to talk to me, and I was quite caught out by the attention cuz apparently, the new temp staffs know my name. (wonder what my ex-colleagues have been gossiping about me..) I only met that gal once, and when I went into the office, I said, "I'm looking for Wendy". And she went, "Wendy. Deborah looking for you." I was like, "Hmmmm...I never introduced myself to you?"
I felt quite paisey because everyone stopped to chat with me including my manager. The temp staffs were just looking on at me, and they're probably wondering why my manager and the AGM will stop to talk to me. (I wanted to hide but cannot cuz they're just sitting at the counter. Hehe) They have 4 temp staffs now(what luxury. I did everything myself then! haha.) One of my senior exe even said that they're going to propose during management meeting to hire me back to work part-time! (!!!) And to make things even more embarrassing, Wendy said, "4 temp staffs cannot be compared to 1 you." -blush- But seriously, I was not that good la.
Was quite shocked to learn that Sandy was in depression because for the 9 months I was there, she was perfectly fine. She looked ok when I visited last month so it was quite shocking. Apparently it's work stress. But it's quite weird because she has been working there for 5 years! Still, it's quite scary. I didn't know you could get depression just like that!
The AGM, Mrs Tan stopped to talk to me and I was thrilled to see her. For the benefit of my new readers, Mrs Tan is my 偶像。I admire her alot so to be able to have a 5 minutes conversation with her was great. I always enjoy seeing her. She may be alittle rigid at times, but she is not one to shun from pressure, and she's always ready to hear others out should they disagree with what she says. Also, she never hesitates to say sorry if she's wrong and is humble enough to ask a temp staff for help when she had some problems using the PC. She's a wonderful woman and it's a pity I never got to work under her. But she brighens up my days whenever she walks pass my table and greets me Good Morning. Hee.
Hmm, both my neighbours are having BBQs and karaoke sessions at the same time. So coincident. What's the occasion today?
Everyone stopped to talk to me, and I was quite caught out by the attention cuz apparently, the new temp staffs know my name. (wonder what my ex-colleagues have been gossiping about me..) I only met that gal once, and when I went into the office, I said, "I'm looking for Wendy". And she went, "Wendy. Deborah looking for you." I was like, "Hmmmm...I never introduced myself to you?"
I felt quite paisey because everyone stopped to chat with me including my manager. The temp staffs were just looking on at me, and they're probably wondering why my manager and the AGM will stop to talk to me. (I wanted to hide but cannot cuz they're just sitting at the counter. Hehe) They have 4 temp staffs now(what luxury. I did everything myself then! haha.) One of my senior exe even said that they're going to propose during management meeting to hire me back to work part-time! (!!!) And to make things even more embarrassing, Wendy said, "4 temp staffs cannot be compared to 1 you." -blush- But seriously, I was not that good la.
Was quite shocked to learn that Sandy was in depression because for the 9 months I was there, she was perfectly fine. She looked ok when I visited last month so it was quite shocking. Apparently it's work stress. But it's quite weird because she has been working there for 5 years! Still, it's quite scary. I didn't know you could get depression just like that!
The AGM, Mrs Tan stopped to talk to me and I was thrilled to see her. For the benefit of my new readers, Mrs Tan is my 偶像。I admire her alot so to be able to have a 5 minutes conversation with her was great. I always enjoy seeing her. She may be alittle rigid at times, but she is not one to shun from pressure, and she's always ready to hear others out should they disagree with what she says. Also, she never hesitates to say sorry if she's wrong and is humble enough to ask a temp staff for help when she had some problems using the PC. She's a wonderful woman and it's a pity I never got to work under her. But she brighens up my days whenever she walks pass my table and greets me Good Morning. Hee.
Hmm, both my neighbours are having BBQs and karaoke sessions at the same time. So coincident. What's the occasion today?
Staring into the Abyss,
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