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Friday, June 24, 2005
Today as I was on my way home from CG with Huiling, Huiling asked me a question which set me thinking. 'So, what period are you at now?' she asked me. What period am I at now? Building Period? That brought me back to what I learnt at Bible Study yesterday.
Bro Bobby was preaching about God's Building Plan and that how the bible describes the life of a believer to the construction of a building. He was sharing about how the foundation is the most important in any construction. Using blocks to illustrate, he showed us how unsteady a construction will be if the foundation is not properly laid. Why do some people's life fluctuate like the stock market - one moment high and flying, the other moment, low and crawling? Because the foundation is weak, and unsteady.
I remember in one of my previous entry, I talked about looking for the Rock that will steady me and allow me to lean on. What is that Rock? Who is that Rock? Now I know. It's Jesus Christ. He is that Rock, that foundation to my christian life. My life should be built upon Him and not on any other thing. Which brings it back to putting God not only in 1st place but as the only One.
I've since been to 3 CG meetings with my new CG and I've received alot in these 3 meetings. Perhaps its because it's a new environment, with new people, I find myself being less self-conscious. No longer is there the heart pounding furiously, and the face turning red when asked to share during discussions. At least, that was what happened today. In fact, I look forward to CG, to the Word that Sis Glyn is going to share and to receive from her. And I thank God that I'm beginning to know my CG members more.
Sure, there are times when I'll wonder to myself and ask, 'how long is this 'change' going to last? How long before I fizzle out again? Am I ever going to be as spiritual as my cg members?' But now I know, as long as I lay Jesus as the foundation rock of my life, this foundation will be immovable. Now, it's back to laying the foundation for me. To know Jesus as the God who lives and who is real. To know Jesus as the only One, and for Jesus to be the centre of my life. Help me, Lord.
And to quote John, 'He must increase, but I must decrease.'
Bro Bobby was preaching about God's Building Plan and that how the bible describes the life of a believer to the construction of a building. He was sharing about how the foundation is the most important in any construction. Using blocks to illustrate, he showed us how unsteady a construction will be if the foundation is not properly laid. Why do some people's life fluctuate like the stock market - one moment high and flying, the other moment, low and crawling? Because the foundation is weak, and unsteady.
I remember in one of my previous entry, I talked about looking for the Rock that will steady me and allow me to lean on. What is that Rock? Who is that Rock? Now I know. It's Jesus Christ. He is that Rock, that foundation to my christian life. My life should be built upon Him and not on any other thing. Which brings it back to putting God not only in 1st place but as the only One.
I've since been to 3 CG meetings with my new CG and I've received alot in these 3 meetings. Perhaps its because it's a new environment, with new people, I find myself being less self-conscious. No longer is there the heart pounding furiously, and the face turning red when asked to share during discussions. At least, that was what happened today. In fact, I look forward to CG, to the Word that Sis Glyn is going to share and to receive from her. And I thank God that I'm beginning to know my CG members more.
Sure, there are times when I'll wonder to myself and ask, 'how long is this 'change' going to last? How long before I fizzle out again? Am I ever going to be as spiritual as my cg members?' But now I know, as long as I lay Jesus as the foundation rock of my life, this foundation will be immovable. Now, it's back to laying the foundation for me. To know Jesus as the God who lives and who is real. To know Jesus as the only One, and for Jesus to be the centre of my life. Help me, Lord.
And to quote John, 'He must increase, but I must decrease.'
Staring into the Abyss,
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Monday, June 20, 2005
Wow. 'The Woodsman' I think is a fantastic show! For those who watched 'The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind' and enjoyed it will also like 'The Woodsman'. In fact, I think its better than 'The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind'. Haha. Anyway, here's what the shrink said to Kevin Bacon, 'By going in circles, we find things we normally miss the first round.' The movie ended with a beautiful song titled, 'His eye is on the sparrow'. I think it's a great show!! 'De-lovely' is not bad but it was abit boring. Haha. Though I think 'De-lovely' would make a fantastic movie for my essay. It has an interesting narrative structure, and for someone like me who is doing my diploma in English Literature, I should be very very intrigued by it. Alas, I fast-forwarded disc 2. Ooops..
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Updated entry! Here's pictures of my new CG! We went there early to play games with some news friends before our cg meeting. Enjoy!
Desmond standing by the crossroad looking lost..
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Group 1 and 2 playing dog and bone!! My group won! If I didn't remember wrongly. Haha.
The art of defending portrayed brilliantly by Shan Min
Yeah!! I caught the ball for my group!!
Galen ready to attack.
Galen(above) and Yao Zhong(below) catching forty winks before CG starts.
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Sunday, June 19, 2005
Was feeling quite sad on my way back home from church just now. Suddenly felt very lonely and all and wanted very much to cry. But, I'm fine now! I wasn't alone cuz God was with me. :)
Anyway, Huiying seems so intrigued by J's blog. (Hey! I almost guessed his URL correctly ok? I just missed out 1 J. Hahaha! I'm serious ok? :P) Most of his entries are LONG! I think I will not read his archives but read from what he blogs now. Tried reading the June/May archives and I almost died. So I've decided, I'll read his present and future entries. Any of you still wondering who J is??
Took a walk at TS just now and rented 2 VCDS! I wanted to buy 'The Phantom of the Opera' and I deliberated and deliberated for sometime before deciding that I'll get it someother time instead. Still waiting for Huiling to find time to come to my place and watching 'Finding Neverland together'. I rented, 'De-Lovely' and 'The Woodsman' with the latter being a movie I've always wanted to watch but never did cuz it was only showing at Cineleisure. Imagine my delight when I realized that I could rent it! It's a movie starring Kevin Bacon and here's what it's about:
'Walter (Kevin Bacon), a convicted sex offender, is trying to put his life back together. He lands a steady job, he sees an earnest therapist, and he spends time with his sympathetic brother-in-law. Still he cannot escape his past - his sister shuns him, and he lives in fear of being discovered. Walter finds unexpected comfort in Vicki, a tough-talking woman who doesn't judge him for his history, but even her love is not enough to keep the demons away. As he discovers, it is hard to resist old temptations. The Woodsman presents a haunting portrait of a figure, demonized by society, who struggles to prove that he is worthy of a second chance. It is a story of redemption, human courage and forgiveness.'
So interesting right? Can't wait to watch the movie. I hope it doesn't disappoint! 'De-lovely' on the other hand is a musical with performances by Natalie Cole, Elvis Costello, Sheryl Crow, Diana Krall, Alanis Morissette, and Robbie Williams.
Oh yeah, I wanna watch 'Mr and Mrs Smith' too! Heard many raving comments about this movie. Time to hit the cinemas again! Haha. Anyone for company? Although I don't mind watching alone. Hahaha! Sponsors too? Anyone?? 'Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy' etc etc.
I wonder how much anger it takes for someone to chop another person up into 5 pieces. I really really wonder...
Anyway, Huiying seems so intrigued by J's blog. (Hey! I almost guessed his URL correctly ok? I just missed out 1 J. Hahaha! I'm serious ok? :P) Most of his entries are LONG! I think I will not read his archives but read from what he blogs now. Tried reading the June/May archives and I almost died. So I've decided, I'll read his present and future entries. Any of you still wondering who J is??
Took a walk at TS just now and rented 2 VCDS! I wanted to buy 'The Phantom of the Opera' and I deliberated and deliberated for sometime before deciding that I'll get it someother time instead. Still waiting for Huiling to find time to come to my place and watching 'Finding Neverland together'. I rented, 'De-Lovely' and 'The Woodsman' with the latter being a movie I've always wanted to watch but never did cuz it was only showing at Cineleisure. Imagine my delight when I realized that I could rent it! It's a movie starring Kevin Bacon and here's what it's about:
'Walter (Kevin Bacon), a convicted sex offender, is trying to put his life back together. He lands a steady job, he sees an earnest therapist, and he spends time with his sympathetic brother-in-law. Still he cannot escape his past - his sister shuns him, and he lives in fear of being discovered. Walter finds unexpected comfort in Vicki, a tough-talking woman who doesn't judge him for his history, but even her love is not enough to keep the demons away. As he discovers, it is hard to resist old temptations. The Woodsman presents a haunting portrait of a figure, demonized by society, who struggles to prove that he is worthy of a second chance. It is a story of redemption, human courage and forgiveness.'
So interesting right? Can't wait to watch the movie. I hope it doesn't disappoint! 'De-lovely' on the other hand is a musical with performances by Natalie Cole, Elvis Costello, Sheryl Crow, Diana Krall, Alanis Morissette, and Robbie Williams.
Oh yeah, I wanna watch 'Mr and Mrs Smith' too! Heard many raving comments about this movie. Time to hit the cinemas again! Haha. Anyone for company? Although I don't mind watching alone. Hahaha! Sponsors too? Anyone?? 'Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy' etc etc.
I wonder how much anger it takes for someone to chop another person up into 5 pieces. I really really wonder...
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Friday, June 17, 2005
It wasn't that difficult after all....
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Thursday, June 16, 2005
Will be having CG at Pasir Ris tomorrow. Think it's the Downtown East resorts. My CG members are meeting earlier actually. Either to go down to Pasir Ris Park, or to Downtown East. As usual(what's new right??), I don't really feel like going down earlier. Maybe Huiling is right in saying that it's probably because I'm partly aloof. Talking to them is different to opening up to them. It still feels strange, although I do take the initiative to start the conversation with them now. -shrug- God, please help me. Help me to open myself up and stop being so aloof and anti-social.
Just came back from meeting Mel for dinner. She was craving for pasta, so we went down to Boat Quay's Pasta Fresca and had a filling meal. The ambience was great, and so was the company. Haven't met her since the last time at Forbidden City and she has been scolding me each time she calls me saying that I'm 'dao'. Whenever she sees me online, she'll go, 'Wow. You're still alive! So surprising to see you online!'What she doesn't know is that I am always online and she probably didn't see me cuz she's always on 'busy' mode. Nonetheless, it was a good time of catching up with her. She filled me in with what's happening in her life and so on. Oh yeah, she got herself an IPOD! A pink one too! It was a gift from her mum cuz her mum struck 4D.
We hung around Boat Quay, and shopped at Raffles Xchange before Mel's bf (Alex) came down to pick us up. Decided to look Darranz up so we headed to 'The Secret Garden', a cafe at Bugis where Darranz was working. It's quite a nice cafe, with pretty romantic ambience. So the three of us, Mel, Alex and I settled down and ordered a drink each. Darranz came along and he asked us what dessert we'd like and guess what? It's on the house!! Haha! But because Mel and I were still full from the dinner, we had a slice of yummy Oreo cheesecake which was eventually wiped out by Alex. So we sat under the moonlit sky, people watched and chatted. Darranz came along again and this time, he brought with him a drink - Bloody Mary. He was in-charge of the bar, so he made us one. I took a sip, and man it was spicy. Alex tasted it and decided that he didn't like it and Mel didn't try cuz she doesn't take spicy stuff. Bloody Mary is made with Vodka, Tomato Juice and Tobasco sauce. (Can't remember if there's anything else cuz I only heard Darranz said these 3.) Oh, salt was coated around the glass too and you're supposed to take salt with the drink for what purpose I don't know.
None of them touched the drink, so I finished it. Hahaha! Anyway, we waited till he finished work at 11, and Alex gave us a ride home! And, Darranz picked up the tab for us! So sweet and nice of him! We were wondering why none of the waiters gave us our bills when they went to every table and presented the bills to them. It was great meeting Mel and Darranz again. He'll be going to Hongkong and Japan soon for a holiday. That fortunate boy. He'll only have to pay for his shopping!! And probably his air ticket to Japan. He has a rich friend there, so his lodging and his food will be provided. The trip to HK will be paid by his mum/brother and he'll only have to pay for whatever he buys there. So Darranz, if you're reading this, have fun in HK and Japan ok? And I still haven't forgotten about my laptop in 2 years'!! :D
Just came back from meeting Mel for dinner. She was craving for pasta, so we went down to Boat Quay's Pasta Fresca and had a filling meal. The ambience was great, and so was the company. Haven't met her since the last time at Forbidden City and she has been scolding me each time she calls me saying that I'm 'dao'. Whenever she sees me online, she'll go, 'Wow. You're still alive! So surprising to see you online!'What she doesn't know is that I am always online and she probably didn't see me cuz she's always on 'busy' mode. Nonetheless, it was a good time of catching up with her. She filled me in with what's happening in her life and so on. Oh yeah, she got herself an IPOD! A pink one too! It was a gift from her mum cuz her mum struck 4D.
We hung around Boat Quay, and shopped at Raffles Xchange before Mel's bf (Alex) came down to pick us up. Decided to look Darranz up so we headed to 'The Secret Garden', a cafe at Bugis where Darranz was working. It's quite a nice cafe, with pretty romantic ambience. So the three of us, Mel, Alex and I settled down and ordered a drink each. Darranz came along and he asked us what dessert we'd like and guess what? It's on the house!! Haha! But because Mel and I were still full from the dinner, we had a slice of yummy Oreo cheesecake which was eventually wiped out by Alex. So we sat under the moonlit sky, people watched and chatted. Darranz came along again and this time, he brought with him a drink - Bloody Mary. He was in-charge of the bar, so he made us one. I took a sip, and man it was spicy. Alex tasted it and decided that he didn't like it and Mel didn't try cuz she doesn't take spicy stuff. Bloody Mary is made with Vodka, Tomato Juice and Tobasco sauce. (Can't remember if there's anything else cuz I only heard Darranz said these 3.) Oh, salt was coated around the glass too and you're supposed to take salt with the drink for what purpose I don't know.
None of them touched the drink, so I finished it. Hahaha! Anyway, we waited till he finished work at 11, and Alex gave us a ride home! And, Darranz picked up the tab for us! So sweet and nice of him! We were wondering why none of the waiters gave us our bills when they went to every table and presented the bills to them. It was great meeting Mel and Darranz again. He'll be going to Hongkong and Japan soon for a holiday. That fortunate boy. He'll only have to pay for his shopping!! And probably his air ticket to Japan. He has a rich friend there, so his lodging and his food will be provided. The trip to HK will be paid by his mum/brother and he'll only have to pay for whatever he buys there. So Darranz, if you're reading this, have fun in HK and Japan ok? And I still haven't forgotten about my laptop in 2 years'!! :D
Staring into the Abyss,
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Monday, June 13, 2005
My lovely friends from Stansfield and members of the Pretend-to-be-Intelligent Association:
From Left: Mel, Deb, Joan, Louis and Darranz (top) at Forbidden City, 11-05-05
Another picture of us at Party World KTV 11-05-05
From Left: Louis, Darranz, Joan, Me, Mel
Yes. That's beer on the table, but I didn't drink cuz I don't like the taste of beer. I only had a mouthful of Long Island Tea at Forbidden City that's all.
From Left: Mel, Deb, Joan, Louis and Darranz (top) at Forbidden City, 11-05-05
Another picture of us at Party World KTV 11-05-05
From Left: Louis, Darranz, Joan, Me, Mel
Yes. That's beer on the table, but I didn't drink cuz I don't like the taste of beer. I only had a mouthful of Long Island Tea at Forbidden City that's all.
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Thursday, June 09, 2005
Although it's 1.19am now and Cherie is probably cursing and swearing at me(for not sleeping yet) while she reads this entry, I'm going to continue with this entry. Was supposed to blog this last night, but because of the terrible flu bug which resulted with me having a fever in the middle of the night, I didn't blog. Anyway, I'm still having a flu, but I believe I will be healed in Jesus' name! Thank God for healing really, cuz halfway during the night session, I stopped sneezing and my nose cleared for a while. The aircon was blasting cold air, so I came with the flu still there. Nonetheless, I thank God that during that time worshiping and praising Him, listening to the Word, I didn't sneeze a thousand and one time. :)
The conference has been great so far despite missing the morning session today and probably also missing tomorrow morning's Extreme Sports. It was a great feeling being in an atmosphere where the presence of God can be so tangibly felt. Pastor prayed and laid hands on the Uni/Private school students, and for the 1st time, I went up to be prayed before. When Pastor laid his hand on me, I felt that power of God. After such a long long time, I finally felt that power of God again. Words cannot describe the feeling, but if I had to choose a word, it'll have to be 'electrifying'. Now I know why the feeling's different from last time. It's because the last time I felt was the love of God. Yesterday, it was the Power of God. That is where I wanna stay. The fear of the Lord - that is what I need. Lord, help me to make You the Lord of my life, and the centre of my life.
The conference has been great so far despite missing the morning session today and probably also missing tomorrow morning's Extreme Sports. It was a great feeling being in an atmosphere where the presence of God can be so tangibly felt. Pastor prayed and laid hands on the Uni/Private school students, and for the 1st time, I went up to be prayed before. When Pastor laid his hand on me, I felt that power of God. After such a long long time, I finally felt that power of God again. Words cannot describe the feeling, but if I had to choose a word, it'll have to be 'electrifying'. Now I know why the feeling's different from last time. It's because the last time I felt was the love of God. Yesterday, it was the Power of God. That is where I wanna stay. The fear of the Lord - that is what I need. Lord, help me to make You the Lord of my life, and the centre of my life.
Staring into the Abyss,
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Monday, June 06, 2005
Yes. This blogskin looks familiar I know. Decided to revive this skin because I was bored of my old plain and ordinary skin plus the skins that I took a fancy to at www.blogskins.com were a little too negative. So back to the tried, tested and well received collage skin! Infact, I actually wanted to use my current desktop wallpaper as the image to my new blogskin, but for fear of appearing too bias/prejudiced/desperate or what-have-yous, and turning my readers off before even reading the entry(Yes Peishi. I'm talking about you here and yes Huiling, I know you prefer Liverpool more.), I decided not to use it. But still, I cannot resist putting up the image:
EMERGE conference tomorrow! This time, entry is by wearing luminous wristbands! Yeah! I have a wristband that glows in the dark! Hahaha! Looking forward to the conference tomorrow. It's going to be my first conference queuing/sitting with a new CG. Actually, I dread the thought of having to queue with new people. But if I never try to adapt, I'll never adapt and I'll forever not move out from my comfort zone. So all the thoughts about wanting to queue/sit with Soo Chin's CG must go out from my mind. Huiling will only attend the night services, but I'm Deborah Kong, and if I change my mindset, nothing is impossible. It's not that difficult opening up to new people right? I will not dread. I will look forward to queuing up for hours with my new CG members. I can. I must. I will.
EMERGE conference tomorrow! This time, entry is by wearing luminous wristbands! Yeah! I have a wristband that glows in the dark! Hahaha! Looking forward to the conference tomorrow. It's going to be my first conference queuing/sitting with a new CG. Actually, I dread the thought of having to queue with new people. But if I never try to adapt, I'll never adapt and I'll forever not move out from my comfort zone. So all the thoughts about wanting to queue/sit with Soo Chin's CG must go out from my mind. Huiling will only attend the night services, but I'm Deborah Kong, and if I change my mindset, nothing is impossible. It's not that difficult opening up to new people right? I will not dread. I will look forward to queuing up for hours with my new CG members. I can. I must. I will.
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Friday, June 03, 2005
Ok. I didn't exactly break a mop. (How do you break a mop anyway?) No No. I wasn't seeking revenge, but I just twisted the mop 'head' too hard and it came off, its 'hair' and everything with only the stick intact. Spring cleaned my house today, rather, I started from my room. Looking at my ants-infested, and home-to-dust table, I figured that it was time to do something about it. Ok. It isn't infested with ants but it's definitely home to the dust. So off went my books from my table into a box under my table. Books I'm currently reading like, 'God-chaser', 'Come thirsty', 'The Portrait of The Artist as A Young Man,', 'Teach yourself 101 Philosophy' are sitting nicely on my shelf.
Being the nice me as usual, I decided to vacumm, sweep and mop my entire house. Yes I know I'm lazy. But it's time to do something. Time to shed off the 'lazy' tag and be a good testimony at home. Now my floor is so sparkling, all of us wear sunglasses at home, even at night.
When is the next soccer season going to start? Weekends with no soccer is B-O-R-I-N-G. Talking about weekends, my cg now is on Thursday night. It's been a long long while since I last had a weekday night CG! Met my new CG members yesterday and yeah, I met new people. They were louder than my W140, and really really much louder. Change is good cuz it's the only thing constant in life. My boss's doing well now that she's in a different CG, getting closer and closer to being a cell group leader, Huiying is also doing well, so it just shows that changing out of a new environment doesn't necessarily be a bad thing. Unless our mindset is always that 'why do we have to change?' It's time to break out, step out. Can I do it?
Being the nice me as usual, I decided to vacumm, sweep and mop my entire house. Yes I know I'm lazy. But it's time to do something. Time to shed off the 'lazy' tag and be a good testimony at home. Now my floor is so sparkling, all of us wear sunglasses at home, even at night.
When is the next soccer season going to start? Weekends with no soccer is B-O-R-I-N-G. Talking about weekends, my cg now is on Thursday night. It's been a long long while since I last had a weekday night CG! Met my new CG members yesterday and yeah, I met new people. They were louder than my W140, and really really much louder. Change is good cuz it's the only thing constant in life. My boss's doing well now that she's in a different CG, getting closer and closer to being a cell group leader, Huiying is also doing well, so it just shows that changing out of a new environment doesn't necessarily be a bad thing. Unless our mindset is always that 'why do we have to change?' It's time to break out, step out. Can I do it?
Staring into the Abyss,
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