.The Abyss.
Current Read:
.Didis and Gogos.
. Cherie .
. Chew Yue .
. Christine .
. Huiling .
. Huiying .
. Jane .
. Jiahui .
. Kenneth .
. Melissa .
. Salina .
. Soo Chin .
. Sun Ho .
. Roy .
.Rant & Rave.
.Past Ramblings.
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Friday, September 28, 2007
Been busy with a thousand and one things to do yet ironically, when I sit down and wonder what I am so busy with, I simply have no idea at all.
Assignments are due on the 2nd week of October which means it's about time I attempt to start writing my papers, or at least come up with a cover page. Researching for a presentation my group have to do is taking up so much time and effort I am so tempted to give it up considering it is only worth 5 marks. Stupid module.
Journalism assignment is worse with my group having to write a newspaper with REAL hard and soft news. Thank God for a news lead (Thanks Dennis!) and for opening more leads for us to cover. Interviewing people have been a fun process and up next is an interview with a Y.E.S 933FM Deejay! Going down to the red-light district to source for news have been an eye-opener and to certain extend, heart-wrenching.
I am rambling I know.
Sometimes when things happen, it is almost impossible to start again on a clean slate. There is always that need to look for a scapegoat - possibly to "pay" for the mistake whether it is made intentionally or unintentionally. Someone just has to answer for it. It is sad to see things turning out this way and even sadder to know you can't totally trust anyone.
A and M surprised me with a book. And to be honest, I am touched by the gesture. I want very much to believe they really mean what they say yet a certain part of me remains doubtful. Who's to know when someone's gonna put a knife through your back? It pays to be careful.
Well, side-tracking again, it takes 3 weeks to form a habit. Does it mean if I do something consecutively for 3 weeks and I realise I don't miss it anymore, something is wrong? So many different thoughts, so many different people talking. Where's the PEACE that's supposed to reign in one's heart?
I can go on and on.....
Assignments are due on the 2nd week of October which means it's about time I attempt to start writing my papers, or at least come up with a cover page. Researching for a presentation my group have to do is taking up so much time and effort I am so tempted to give it up considering it is only worth 5 marks. Stupid module.
Journalism assignment is worse with my group having to write a newspaper with REAL hard and soft news. Thank God for a news lead (Thanks Dennis!) and for opening more leads for us to cover. Interviewing people have been a fun process and up next is an interview with a Y.E.S 933FM Deejay! Going down to the red-light district to source for news have been an eye-opener and to certain extend, heart-wrenching.
I am rambling I know.
Sometimes when things happen, it is almost impossible to start again on a clean slate. There is always that need to look for a scapegoat - possibly to "pay" for the mistake whether it is made intentionally or unintentionally. Someone just has to answer for it. It is sad to see things turning out this way and even sadder to know you can't totally trust anyone.
A and M surprised me with a book. And to be honest, I am touched by the gesture. I want very much to believe they really mean what they say yet a certain part of me remains doubtful. Who's to know when someone's gonna put a knife through your back? It pays to be careful.
Well, side-tracking again, it takes 3 weeks to form a habit. Does it mean if I do something consecutively for 3 weeks and I realise I don't miss it anymore, something is wrong? So many different thoughts, so many different people talking. Where's the PEACE that's supposed to reign in one's heart?
I can go on and on.....
Staring into the Abyss,
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Wednesday, September 19, 2007
James Blunt - Tears & Rain
How I wish I could surrender my soul;
Shed the clothes that become my skin;
See the liar that burns within my needing.
How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I've found no meaning.
I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.
How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;
Hold memory close at hand,
Help me understand the years.
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
How I wish I would save my soul.
I'm so cold from fear.
I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
Far, far away; find comfort in pain.
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.
Current favourite song. What a great singer.
How I wish I could surrender my soul;
Shed the clothes that become my skin;
See the liar that burns within my needing.
How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I've found no meaning.
I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.
How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;
Hold memory close at hand,
Help me understand the years.
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
How I wish I would save my soul.
I'm so cold from fear.
I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
Far, far away; find comfort in pain.
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.
Current favourite song. What a great singer.
Staring into the Abyss,
(0) comments
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
If you are wondering why I am taking so long to update my blog, then I don't have an answer for you.
Why is it so difficult to make a simple decision? The question is always, "What is holding you back?" yet I never seem to have an answer to the question. My heart feels so burdened about the decision I'm going to make that I sometimes question myself. What is wrong with me? I don't have many days left to ponder. Friday's gonna be THE day.. But teach me how to make the right decision. Teach me how to not get so emotional and attached.
Maybe they are right. The problem could be me.
Why is it so difficult to make a simple decision? The question is always, "What is holding you back?" yet I never seem to have an answer to the question. My heart feels so burdened about the decision I'm going to make that I sometimes question myself. What is wrong with me? I don't have many days left to ponder. Friday's gonna be THE day.. But teach me how to make the right decision. Teach me how to not get so emotional and attached.
Maybe they are right. The problem could be me.
Staring into the Abyss,
(0) comments
This little sweetheart is F's baby sister. She's number 5 in F's family. She said hello to the world on Friday, 1 month early of her due date. Sadly, this little sweetie ain't gonna grow up a normal, healthy baby because on Saturday, she was diagonsed with down syndrome and luekemia.
I paid her a visit in the hospital today and it broke my heart to see her having to rely on a machine to breathe and feeding tubes for her to drink milk. Babies should never go through such terrible ordeals. It was painful to see her mum cry each time the doctors inject the baby to run tests.
F's mum apparently knew about the probability of her baby being a down syndrome baby considering the fact she's in her mid 40s. But to her, the baby is an innocent being and she has no right to take away the life of her baby. But who would know Fate will deal them such a cruel blow? Surely her mum didn't bring the baby into this world to watch her suffer. And who's to say abortion would have been a better option?
A decided to have a donation drive at work to help F and her family cope with the extra financial burden. We didn't expect to raise a lot of money because everyone have their own obligations and problems. But we thought a little help will be better than nothing since F is already working to pay her own school fees. I do know there's so much one can give and we can't expect too much since F is only a working colleague to them and they are really not obliged to give. But giving is always better than receiving. When there is really nothing much we can do to alleviate the pain the family is going through, at least we can help lessen F's financial burden.
Dear God, please heal this little sweetheart. Give her strength to go through all this suffering. Please see her through all the tests the doctors will be running on her.. Help F and her family through this difficult time. Let them see Hope in this time of pain and despair.
Monday, September 03, 2007
This little sweetheart is F's baby sister. She's number 5 in F's family. She said hello to the world on Friday, 1 month early of her due date. Sadly, this little sweetie ain't gonna grow up a normal, healthy baby because on Saturday, she was diagonsed with down syndrome and luekemia.
I paid her a visit in the hospital today and it broke my heart to see her having to rely on a machine to breathe and feeding tubes for her to drink milk. Babies should never go through such terrible ordeals. It was painful to see her mum cry each time the doctors inject the baby to run tests.
F's mum apparently knew about the probability of her baby being a down syndrome baby considering the fact she's in her mid 40s. But to her, the baby is an innocent being and she has no right to take away the life of her baby. But who would know Fate will deal them such a cruel blow? Surely her mum didn't bring the baby into this world to watch her suffer. And who's to say abortion would have been a better option?
A decided to have a donation drive at work to help F and her family cope with the extra financial burden. We didn't expect to raise a lot of money because everyone have their own obligations and problems. But we thought a little help will be better than nothing since F is already working to pay her own school fees. I do know there's so much one can give and we can't expect too much since F is only a working colleague to them and they are really not obliged to give. But giving is always better than receiving. When there is really nothing much we can do to alleviate the pain the family is going through, at least we can help lessen F's financial burden.
Dear God, please heal this little sweetheart. Give her strength to go through all this suffering. Please see her through all the tests the doctors will be running on her.. Help F and her family through this difficult time. Let them see Hope in this time of pain and despair.
Staring into the Abyss,
(0) comments
Sunday, September 02, 2007
If babies are a gift from God, then why are some of them striken with diseases or deformed in some way or another when they are born? Aren't they meant to be bundles of joy to their parents? How do you cushion the pain of seeing your baby, who is barely a day old, being hooked up to the oxygen tank when other parents are cuddling their healthy baby? How can one bear to watch these little ones suffer?
The world is really not fair.
The world is really not fair.
Staring into the Abyss,
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