.The Abyss.
Current Read:
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. Chew Yue .
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. Sun Ho .
. Roy .
.Rant & Rave.
.Past Ramblings.
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Monday, July 30, 2007
"So what do you want? Your new life or your old ways? Or you intend to do both at the same time?"
I did something yesterday I never expected myself to do, and kinda regretted the deed much later. I tell them I badly want it. It is true. I do want it badly, and I do crave to get out of it. Do I not want it badly enough? But sometimes, when you get to choose between fight or flight, it is always much easier to choose flight. You don't break so many hearts, you don't disappoint so many people.
What is it that it is so hard to convince the mind? How complex can it get? The scene(s) keeps replaying in my mind. It's all going to go back to square one right? But I know I gotta do it. I have to. But why is it so difficult to push myself? Sometimes it is just so tiring.
I did something yesterday I never expected myself to do, and kinda regretted the deed much later. I tell them I badly want it. It is true. I do want it badly, and I do crave to get out of it. Do I not want it badly enough? But sometimes, when you get to choose between fight or flight, it is always much easier to choose flight. You don't break so many hearts, you don't disappoint so many people.
What is it that it is so hard to convince the mind? How complex can it get? The scene(s) keeps replaying in my mind. It's all going to go back to square one right? But I know I gotta do it. I have to. But why is it so difficult to push myself? Sometimes it is just so tiring.
Staring into the Abyss,
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Saturday, July 28, 2007
"A child who cannot focus his attention, who is suspicious rather than trusting, sad or angry rather that optimistic, destructive rather than respectful and one who is overcome with anxiety, preoccupied with frightening fantasy and feels generally unhappy with himself - such a child has little opportunity at all, let alone equal opportunity, to claim the possibilities of the world as his own."
Staring into the Abyss,
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Monday, July 23, 2007
Thought I'll share some wedding pictures of John & my big sister, Edwin & Sabrina. 2 different weddings but both filled with lots of joy, love and more love.
Their grand march-in..
Walking down the aisle..
Edwin & Sabrina
Yum Seng to Friendship!
Staring into the Abyss,
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Sunday, July 22, 2007
Haven't seen Kaydence for a long time and today my auntie mms-ed a picture of Kaydence to me. She's so adorable, I seriously cannot wait to see her soon.
Edwin & Sabrina's wedding was fun and I'm just glad to be of some help to them. :) Congratulations once again! :)
Edwin & Sabrina's wedding was fun and I'm just glad to be of some help to them. :) Congratulations once again! :)
Staring into the Abyss,
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Thursday, July 19, 2007
I should probably be sleeping now cuz this week is a really really hectic week for me. My work schedule reads:
Monday: 12am-10pm
Tuesday: 11am-5pm but I stayed till 10pm for some reasons.
Wednesday: 9am-11pm (Private Function)
Thursday: 10am-10pm
Friday: 8.30am-5pm (Tentatively)
We're short of staff due to some of my friends going back to school. Sometimes in the day till late noon (5pm), it'll be only me and my full-time worker running the whole place. If there is a crowd, it's crazy - having to go up and down. But it's fun.
Anyway, I said I should be going to sleep but JANE has got me addicted to this game and I die die also must try very hard to beat her score. I don't know how she does it, but she always get incredible scores. I mean, the highest score I got was only 5000 over, but she had a score of 35000!
Well you all know I am a sucker for such things. SIMS 2 can already keep me occupied for the WHOLE DAY. hehe. If you are interested, you can check this website: www.maggiemarket.kizash.com/games/facial_house
GOOD LUCK!
Monday: 12am-10pm
Tuesday: 11am-5pm but I stayed till 10pm for some reasons.
Wednesday: 9am-11pm (Private Function)
Thursday: 10am-10pm
Friday: 8.30am-5pm (Tentatively)
We're short of staff due to some of my friends going back to school. Sometimes in the day till late noon (5pm), it'll be only me and my full-time worker running the whole place. If there is a crowd, it's crazy - having to go up and down. But it's fun.
Anyway, I said I should be going to sleep but JANE has got me addicted to this game and I die die also must try very hard to beat her score. I don't know how she does it, but she always get incredible scores. I mean, the highest score I got was only 5000 over, but she had a score of 35000!
Well you all know I am a sucker for such things. SIMS 2 can already keep me occupied for the WHOLE DAY. hehe. If you are interested, you can check this website: www.maggiemarket.kizash.com/games/facial_house
GOOD LUCK!
Staring into the Abyss,
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Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Well, I've kinda decided that I wanna change my mp3 player but am pretty undecided with what to get. I'm currently using a 2GB Ipod Nano (1st Generation) and I can either trade it in for the latest and improved Nano or switch to Creative.
A 2GB Ipod Nano will cost me $149, but by trading in my old Nano, I probably can get the new one for less than a hundred. I mean there are so many colours to choose from now other than just black or white.
Another option is the Creative Zen Stone plus. I can get a 2GB player for $99 and more put in more songs than a 2GB nano allows me to. Also, it comes with a built in radio, stopwatch and recording functions. Sounds a pretty good deal and it doesn't look too bad.
My friends who are using Creative tell me to give it a try, and friends who are using Ipod tell me that once you are an Apple user, you wouldn't want to switch to Creative. I wouldn't mind trying Creative though, although... I have long heard about some of the glitches in the Creative players. So which one?
A 2GB Ipod Nano will cost me $149, but by trading in my old Nano, I probably can get the new one for less than a hundred. I mean there are so many colours to choose from now other than just black or white.
Another option is the Creative Zen Stone plus. I can get a 2GB player for $99 and more put in more songs than a 2GB nano allows me to. Also, it comes with a built in radio, stopwatch and recording functions. Sounds a pretty good deal and it doesn't look too bad.
My friends who are using Creative tell me to give it a try, and friends who are using Ipod tell me that once you are an Apple user, you wouldn't want to switch to Creative. I wouldn't mind trying Creative though, although... I have long heard about some of the glitches in the Creative players. So which one?
Staring into the Abyss,
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Sunday, July 15, 2007
Incompetence kills. Are the expectations from people too high or am I am just being too hard on myself? Sometimes the harder you try, the more mistakes you make. Sometimes the more you want to make something better, the worse it becomes. The mind is so complex such that it can make or break a person. What is your capacity to stand defeat? Will you choose to fight or take flight?
Staring into the Abyss,
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Monday, July 09, 2007
Some weeks back (I can't remember which Saturday), I had a primary school gathering with some of my ex classmates.It was kinda weird in the beginning because we haven't since each other for 9 years and I've only been in close contact with chewy these recent years.
Us then...
It was a good time of catching up and reminiscing bout the good old days. The boys who used to be so short are now taller and stronger. We had a good time laughing and reminding each other about our crazy antics in the past. Come to think of it, we really shared a deep bond when we were in primary school. Those are days I'll always want to remember.
Us now...
Yesterday, I went to East Coast Park with my manager JY, my fellow workers, A, F, M and D, our cook from Sri Lankan. We had a great time cycling and I must say it was nice time of bringing D around. Lunch was at East Coast Hawker Centre and I had the pleasure of footing the bill which amounted to around $80. But I guess if this can pay for the stupid mistake I had, then I don't mind. Besides, I'm glad everyone enjoyed themselves. So in the end, it was money well spent.
It was a good time of catching up and reminiscing bout the good old days. The boys who used to be so short are now taller and stronger. We had a good time laughing and reminding each other about our crazy antics in the past. Come to think of it, we really shared a deep bond when we were in primary school. Those are days I'll always want to remember.
Yesterday, I went to East Coast Park with my manager JY, my fellow workers, A, F, M and D, our cook from Sri Lankan. We had a great time cycling and I must say it was nice time of bringing D around. Lunch was at East Coast Hawker Centre and I had the pleasure of footing the bill which amounted to around $80. But I guess if this can pay for the stupid mistake I had, then I don't mind. Besides, I'm glad everyone enjoyed themselves. So in the end, it was money well spent.
Staring into the Abyss,
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Saturday, July 07, 2007
Anxiety is killing me. Fear is crippling me. I need to chill.
Staring into the Abyss,
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Thursday, July 05, 2007
Just a quick update. Work has been keeping me BUSY BUSY BUSY for the past 2 days. We just extended our working hours remember?
Here's a look of what my schedule looks like:
Monday: 9am-3pm
Tuesday: 12noon-4pm, 5pm-10pm
Wednesday: 9am-10pm
Thursday: 12noon-4pm, 5pm-10pm
Friday: 9am-5pm(Swopped duties)
The sole of my feet are aching like crazy and each time I reach home, the only thing I wanna do is to rest my feet..
Work is good but rather stressful. I make it stressful. Don't wanna go into details just yet but I am enjoying my work, although sometimes I still feel like I'm a stupid fool. But then again, just gotta keep working hard and not give up so easily.
Well, till the next update, take lotsa care.
Here's a look of what my schedule looks like:
Monday: 9am-3pm
Tuesday: 12noon-4pm, 5pm-10pm
Wednesday: 9am-10pm
Thursday: 12noon-4pm, 5pm-10pm
Friday: 9am-5pm(Swopped duties)
The sole of my feet are aching like crazy and each time I reach home, the only thing I wanna do is to rest my feet..
Work is good but rather stressful. I make it stressful. Don't wanna go into details just yet but I am enjoying my work, although sometimes I still feel like I'm a stupid fool. But then again, just gotta keep working hard and not give up so easily.
Well, till the next update, take lotsa care.
Staring into the Abyss,
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Sunday, July 01, 2007
My big sister and John's wedding was a blast. I've always felt that a dad's proudest moment is when he is walking his daughter down the wedding aisle. And then next of course is the couple's march in to a thunderous applause and cheers from friends and relatives alike.
I've said this before and I still feel the same way. Seeing 2 people in love tying the knot and starting a brand new life together is touching. The months and months of planning, fretting, going on diets just for the 1 day is somehow all worth it. Nothing beats seeing the happy faces of everyone.
I missed their church wedding due to work obligations. But my heart was with them even though I couldn't be there in person. Work was madness but it was a nice heartwarming gathering of close friends & relatives to celebrate a friend & a family member's birthday. The scene when the dad wrote a poem as a present for his 35 year old son was touching. Can you imagine your dad doing that infront a gathering of close to 25 people?
I've said this before and I still feel the same way. Seeing 2 people in love tying the knot and starting a brand new life together is touching. The months and months of planning, fretting, going on diets just for the 1 day is somehow all worth it. Nothing beats seeing the happy faces of everyone.
I missed their church wedding due to work obligations. But my heart was with them even though I couldn't be there in person. Work was madness but it was a nice heartwarming gathering of close friends & relatives to celebrate a friend & a family member's birthday. The scene when the dad wrote a poem as a present for his 35 year old son was touching. Can you imagine your dad doing that infront a gathering of close to 25 people?
Staring into the Abyss,
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