These few weeks, I not only learnt something new about him, I also learnt about how I was when I was living with them. I never want this stories to cease and I can go on and on just listening to them reminiscing about him. It made me realised that I never bothered keeping in touch with him after I went home at the age of 4 or 5. We meet only once a year during Chinese New Year and we never stay for more than an hour. It makes me feel so horrified that I am actually so heartless.

Someone asked me, "How will this incident affect you in your life from now on? As in your choices? Your attitude towards others in your life?"

I replied, "I always believed that human beings are a complacent bunch. We only react when something bad happens because it will/can happen to others but it will never happen to me. I may grieve for 1 week, grieve for 2 weeks. But after that, life resumes and i'll probably forget about his existence or the trauma of watching him slip away. But of course, I'll now make a conscious effort to spend more time with my grandma and visit his wife more often..."

Sometimes we should all die cuz we don't deserve to be living at all. To hell with religion, or whatever relationship and all. To hell with all that. It's rubbish.

Staring into the Abyss,