I guess at the end of the day, life is about looking beyond the "I". Doesn't matter how many times you've been hit, doesn't matter how many times you lose, what really matters is whether you have the courage to wipe away the tears and the blood to stand up again.

There are times I wonder why I get different treatment from the others, and times I wonder why I always have to be the one taking all the blame. I've always felt that it didn't matter to me how they treat me but sometimes, the pain from the hurt and the rejection is unbearable. Well, I'm only human and no matter how hard I try to be immune, the reality of the truth is sometimes it's not so easy.

Everytime it happens, I question about my existence. My self-esteem is dealt blows after blows and I don't even get a chance to retaliate. I try to my make voice heard, but often it is drowned by the other voices of criticism, cynism and sometimes hate.

J once said, "when the soul is dead, it doesn't matter if you're alive." My heart is filled with immense hatred and sometimes I feel as though this hatred and bitterness is going to overwhelm me. The feeling sucks..

Being the pessimist that I am, my cup is always half-empty. I don't believe I'll make it good in life because that's what everyone has been telling me. I don't believe I'm big enough to breakthrough from my situations. I don't believe that there will be light at the end of the tunnel. I just don't believe and I don't want to believe.

But know what's the greatest sin of all? Unfortunately, it's unbelief...

Look beyond the "I". Life is more than what it can offer you, it's about what you can offer life.

Staring into the Abyss,