.The Abyss.
Current Read: .Didis and Gogos. . Cherie . . Chew Yue . . Christine . . Huiling . . Huiying . . Jane . . Jiahui . . Kenneth . . Melissa . . Salina . . Soo Chin . . Sun Ho . . Roy . .Rant & Rave. .Past Ramblings. March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 |
Monday, March 05, 2007 Failure is not easy to take and it will never be easy. It takes a brave soul to stand up to the defeat, to say, “I’ll try again”, and to put aside all the ridicule, the harsh words, the disapproving looks, and the condemnation from others and from oneself. Not many people can boast such strength. Well, at least not me. I never liked results day because I always knew I was not going to make it. There were times I wondered why I had to be called into the counseling room while the rest of my classmates/friends were celebrating and rejoicing in the hall. I don’t think I was any less hardworking than my other classmates/friends but it seem like I was always the one in the clique to fail something. The feeling sucks and it sucks big time. Sometimes I tell people that Failure is my best friend. I’m so immune to it that I don’t think I can shed another tear over it. They say “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”. Denial at work? Perhaps so. Truth is, the words people say can break a soul. I can tell you it doesn’t hurt when my dad and the people around me says: “You’re an overage student. By right, you should ace all your modules”, “Your papers are so easy. I can close 1 eye and yet still get all As”, “Student from Victoria JC dies? She must have been too stressed. No wonder you are still alive”, “Study for so many years still cannot pass, might as well go out and work”, “The papers must be very easy right? That’s why you got all As”, “I’m glad you realize you have been repeating for a long time now”, “Did you print your own result slips?”, but in actual fact, it is such flippant and senseless comments that cuts the deepest. I guess at the end of the day, the conclusion is that people can say whatever they want to say. What matters the most is the courage to stand up and to fight again. I don’t think I’m doing too badly in MDIS, and I agree that even if I put in only 50% of my effort, I can easily get a C, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t work hard to get my A. I still think I won’t make it in life, but at least I haven’t given up yet. Well, I might prove myself wrong in time to come. Who knows? Anyway, nobody said you will only succeed if you get into NUS, NTU or SMU. There are many options and roads in life, and not everyone will walk on the same path. Look for yours and don’t follow blindly. Staring into the Abyss,
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