.The Abyss.
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. Soo Chin .
. Sun Ho .
. Roy .
.Rant & Rave.
.Past Ramblings.
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Monday, December 10, 2007
We celebrated little Kaydence's 1s birthday on Saturday at Grand Plaza Park Royal Hotel. Considering that it was Kaydence's 1st birthday, my cousin spared no expenses and threw a big birthday bash for the sweetie. We had the "al-fresco" area to ourselves and the buffet was yummy. It was the Christmas spread so we had a huge variety of food ranging from turkey, salmon, sushi, teppanyaki and delectable desserts.
Kaydence's birthday cake was so pretty we couldn't bear to cut it. The cake was Lychee Martini + Blackforest. Super Super yummy. Her name was spelled using icing and every alphabet could be eaten.
I'm not sure if she had fun, but the rest of us (friends & relatives alike) all had fun playing with her, carrying her and taking photographs with her. Seriously, I can't imagine what her 21st birthday party will be like. Such a blessed little gal, and so adorable as well. I love her to bits.
Staring into the Abyss,
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Friday, December 07, 2007
www.kaej.multiply.com
perhaps it's time to bid Blogger farewell.
perhaps it's time to bid Blogger farewell.
Staring into the Abyss,
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Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Just as I was preparing to pop the champagne and celebrate the end of my dreaded exams (almost. last paper on Sat), I received the course schedule that says my next semester starts on the 21st of November. !!!!!
Where is my one month long break??! Seriously, this is such a damper.
Where is my one month long break??! Seriously, this is such a damper.
Staring into the Abyss,
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Monday, October 22, 2007
Today I passed by Cd-Rama and found out that they were clearing CDs of local artistes at 3 for $10. I know the idea of buying CDs is passé, but I just had to because SHE (Fann Wong) caught my eye. Yes, I know I am a cheapskate but 3 CDs for $10 is quite a bargain considering that it'll would cost almost that much to buy single tracks on itunes or what-have-yous. (ok, I admit I am a cheapskate.)
Listening to her CD brought back memories when I used(note: this obssession is a thing of the past) to be so fannatical about her. Was talking to M the other day and I told her how I used to buy all her (Fann's) CDs, watch all her drama serials, supported her when she broke into the movie industry, bought photographs of her etc etc. Those were the days man. Of course I don't do that now. Hehe. I told M rather animatedly about my love for Fann and she could only say, "you and your Fann Wong".
I am proud to say I still remember the lyrics of her old songs. (BIG DEAL! :P) She has her flaws and isn't a fantastic singer, but she never fails to put a smile on my face. :D
Listening to her CD brought back memories when I used(note: this obssession is a thing of the past) to be so fannatical about her. Was talking to M the other day and I told her how I used to buy all her (Fann's) CDs, watch all her drama serials, supported her when she broke into the movie industry, bought photographs of her etc etc. Those were the days man. Of course I don't do that now. Hehe. I told M rather animatedly about my love for Fann and she could only say, "you and your Fann Wong".
I am proud to say I still remember the lyrics of her old songs. (BIG DEAL! :P) She has her flaws and isn't a fantastic singer, but she never fails to put a smile on my face. :D
Staring into the Abyss,
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Friday, October 19, 2007
Recently I've found joy in making coffee. Having tasted orange juice with coffee at a certain coffee joint, I decided to try creating the same effect. The outcome turned out surprising good although it still lacks something. I've never thought I will enjoy operating the coffee machine, but seems like I am beginning to enjoy making coffee. Anyone fancy a cuppa?
Staring into the Abyss,
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Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Yesterday my group members voted unanimously to boycott today's lecture but without first seeking the permission of our group leader. However, the reaction of our group leader was that we should and must do the presentation even if we were going to get only 1 out of 5 marks.
The "bargaining" via sms lasted for less than 5 minutes before she concluded with a "Whatever". The boys in my group then certified that when a gal says "whatever", it means she is really angry. I was tasked to pacify her because we are the only gals in the group but I personally would not want to present too.
But it was really quite funny to see the boys' reaction when I told them she said "whatever". School sucks, especially when you get irritating lecturers lk P.R. A.A is still ok but... nonetheless, I hate all these assignment shit and the freaking exams that is gonna come in 2 weeks? Whatever.
The "bargaining" via sms lasted for less than 5 minutes before she concluded with a "Whatever". The boys in my group then certified that when a gal says "whatever", it means she is really angry. I was tasked to pacify her because we are the only gals in the group but I personally would not want to present too.
But it was really quite funny to see the boys' reaction when I told them she said "whatever". School sucks, especially when you get irritating lecturers lk P.R. A.A is still ok but... nonetheless, I hate all these assignment shit and the freaking exams that is gonna come in 2 weeks? Whatever.
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Wednesday, October 10, 2007
I wrote this quote on the whiteboard that is infront of me at work:
to constantly remind myself that it's really not about me.
"In forgetting yourself, you become what you do, so your action is free, spontaneous, without ambition, inhibition, or FEAR." ` 'Socrates'
to constantly remind myself that it's really not about me.
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Tuesday, October 09, 2007
A big test lies ahead for me tomorrow. A is on annual leave, and I've been converted to senior crew with effect from 1st Oct. With added responsibilities, there is no simply no room for error. Certainly felt the stress when suppliers came in on Monday. A usually does everything - from payment to suppliers to updating the stock inventory so I was very nervous when thrown into the fray.
Then, this customer had to order a bottle of wine on the First monday I start work as a full-timer. I've never opened a wine bottle and the only time I tried was when my chefs needed it to cook the chicken stew. It was really nerve wrecking, but my week has been rather eventful. Good to learn new things although I pray very hard I won't sink this ship!
Tomorrow's gonna be a busy day with my bosses hosting a Sri Lankan Rice & Curry for 10 people. I've also got 2 table reservations and it so happens that I don't have any part-timers coming in. That leaves me with just my manager and I. Stress Stress Stress. I hope everything goes well tomorrow.
On a happier note, I get to see Jasmine tomorrow. YAY!
Then, this customer had to order a bottle of wine on the First monday I start work as a full-timer. I've never opened a wine bottle and the only time I tried was when my chefs needed it to cook the chicken stew. It was really nerve wrecking, but my week has been rather eventful. Good to learn new things although I pray very hard I won't sink this ship!
Tomorrow's gonna be a busy day with my bosses hosting a Sri Lankan Rice & Curry for 10 people. I've also got 2 table reservations and it so happens that I don't have any part-timers coming in. That leaves me with just my manager and I. Stress Stress Stress. I hope everything goes well tomorrow.
On a happier note, I get to see Jasmine tomorrow. YAY!
Staring into the Abyss,
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- Shakespeare's As You Like It
We all hide behind facades and own many masks that we can switch interchangeably under diferent situations. I've always wondered what the kAeJ without the facade/mask will be. I've always wondered how people can keep dark secrets about themselves so brilliantly that even the people closest to them have to pry real hard to find out about the secrets and half the time they don't succeed. I've always wanted to know what lies beneath the hearts of people. How many are totally truthful to the people around them? How do people measure the extend they can trust someone?
The wall of defence I tried very hard to break down is slowly being re-constructed, with the recent spate of events leaving me to question who I can really trust to bare my heart out to. Ironically, the person I least expect to trust is turning out to be someone I feel I can trust totally. Yet, there is still this nagging fear and doubt that I could be wrong...again.
When one day the facade you have been hiding behind is removed, what will it reveal about you? Well, you know they say, "A fair face may hide a foul heart". Could it be you? Or perhaps, me? Your guess is as good as mine.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players.
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages."
- Shakespeare's As You Like It
We all hide behind facades and own many masks that we can switch interchangeably under diferent situations. I've always wondered what the kAeJ without the facade/mask will be. I've always wondered how people can keep dark secrets about themselves so brilliantly that even the people closest to them have to pry real hard to find out about the secrets and half the time they don't succeed. I've always wanted to know what lies beneath the hearts of people. How many are totally truthful to the people around them? How do people measure the extend they can trust someone?
The wall of defence I tried very hard to break down is slowly being re-constructed, with the recent spate of events leaving me to question who I can really trust to bare my heart out to. Ironically, the person I least expect to trust is turning out to be someone I feel I can trust totally. Yet, there is still this nagging fear and doubt that I could be wrong...again.
When one day the facade you have been hiding behind is removed, what will it reveal about you? Well, you know they say, "A fair face may hide a foul heart". Could it be you? Or perhaps, me? Your guess is as good as mine.
Staring into the Abyss,
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Monday, October 01, 2007
"The world was peopled with minds, whirling faster than any wind, in search of distraction and escape from the predicament of change, the dilemma of life and death - seeking purpose, security, enjoyment, trying to make sense of the mystery. Everyone everywhere lived a confused, bitter search. Reality never matched their dreams; happiness was just around the corner - a corner they never turned.
And the source of it all was the human mind."
An excerpt from Dan Millman's "Way of The Peaceful Warrior."
And the source of it all was the human mind."
An excerpt from Dan Millman's "Way of The Peaceful Warrior."
Staring into the Abyss,
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Friday, September 28, 2007
Been busy with a thousand and one things to do yet ironically, when I sit down and wonder what I am so busy with, I simply have no idea at all.
Assignments are due on the 2nd week of October which means it's about time I attempt to start writing my papers, or at least come up with a cover page. Researching for a presentation my group have to do is taking up so much time and effort I am so tempted to give it up considering it is only worth 5 marks. Stupid module.
Journalism assignment is worse with my group having to write a newspaper with REAL hard and soft news. Thank God for a news lead (Thanks Dennis!) and for opening more leads for us to cover. Interviewing people have been a fun process and up next is an interview with a Y.E.S 933FM Deejay! Going down to the red-light district to source for news have been an eye-opener and to certain extend, heart-wrenching.
I am rambling I know.
Sometimes when things happen, it is almost impossible to start again on a clean slate. There is always that need to look for a scapegoat - possibly to "pay" for the mistake whether it is made intentionally or unintentionally. Someone just has to answer for it. It is sad to see things turning out this way and even sadder to know you can't totally trust anyone.
A and M surprised me with a book. And to be honest, I am touched by the gesture. I want very much to believe they really mean what they say yet a certain part of me remains doubtful. Who's to know when someone's gonna put a knife through your back? It pays to be careful.
Well, side-tracking again, it takes 3 weeks to form a habit. Does it mean if I do something consecutively for 3 weeks and I realise I don't miss it anymore, something is wrong? So many different thoughts, so many different people talking. Where's the PEACE that's supposed to reign in one's heart?
I can go on and on.....
Assignments are due on the 2nd week of October which means it's about time I attempt to start writing my papers, or at least come up with a cover page. Researching for a presentation my group have to do is taking up so much time and effort I am so tempted to give it up considering it is only worth 5 marks. Stupid module.
Journalism assignment is worse with my group having to write a newspaper with REAL hard and soft news. Thank God for a news lead (Thanks Dennis!) and for opening more leads for us to cover. Interviewing people have been a fun process and up next is an interview with a Y.E.S 933FM Deejay! Going down to the red-light district to source for news have been an eye-opener and to certain extend, heart-wrenching.
I am rambling I know.
Sometimes when things happen, it is almost impossible to start again on a clean slate. There is always that need to look for a scapegoat - possibly to "pay" for the mistake whether it is made intentionally or unintentionally. Someone just has to answer for it. It is sad to see things turning out this way and even sadder to know you can't totally trust anyone.
A and M surprised me with a book. And to be honest, I am touched by the gesture. I want very much to believe they really mean what they say yet a certain part of me remains doubtful. Who's to know when someone's gonna put a knife through your back? It pays to be careful.
Well, side-tracking again, it takes 3 weeks to form a habit. Does it mean if I do something consecutively for 3 weeks and I realise I don't miss it anymore, something is wrong? So many different thoughts, so many different people talking. Where's the PEACE that's supposed to reign in one's heart?
I can go on and on.....
Staring into the Abyss,
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Wednesday, September 19, 2007
James Blunt - Tears & Rain
How I wish I could surrender my soul;
Shed the clothes that become my skin;
See the liar that burns within my needing.
How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I've found no meaning.
I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.
How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;
Hold memory close at hand,
Help me understand the years.
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
How I wish I would save my soul.
I'm so cold from fear.
I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
Far, far away; find comfort in pain.
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.
Current favourite song. What a great singer.
How I wish I could surrender my soul;
Shed the clothes that become my skin;
See the liar that burns within my needing.
How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I've found no meaning.
I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.
How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;
Hold memory close at hand,
Help me understand the years.
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
How I wish I would save my soul.
I'm so cold from fear.
I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
Far, far away; find comfort in pain.
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.
Current favourite song. What a great singer.
Staring into the Abyss,
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Tuesday, September 11, 2007
If you are wondering why I am taking so long to update my blog, then I don't have an answer for you.
Why is it so difficult to make a simple decision? The question is always, "What is holding you back?" yet I never seem to have an answer to the question. My heart feels so burdened about the decision I'm going to make that I sometimes question myself. What is wrong with me? I don't have many days left to ponder. Friday's gonna be THE day.. But teach me how to make the right decision. Teach me how to not get so emotional and attached.
Maybe they are right. The problem could be me.
Why is it so difficult to make a simple decision? The question is always, "What is holding you back?" yet I never seem to have an answer to the question. My heart feels so burdened about the decision I'm going to make that I sometimes question myself. What is wrong with me? I don't have many days left to ponder. Friday's gonna be THE day.. But teach me how to make the right decision. Teach me how to not get so emotional and attached.
Maybe they are right. The problem could be me.
Staring into the Abyss,
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This little sweetheart is F's baby sister. She's number 5 in F's family. She said hello to the world on Friday, 1 month early of her due date. Sadly, this little sweetie ain't gonna grow up a normal, healthy baby because on Saturday, she was diagonsed with down syndrome and luekemia.
I paid her a visit in the hospital today and it broke my heart to see her having to rely on a machine to breathe and feeding tubes for her to drink milk. Babies should never go through such terrible ordeals. It was painful to see her mum cry each time the doctors inject the baby to run tests.
F's mum apparently knew about the probability of her baby being a down syndrome baby considering the fact she's in her mid 40s. But to her, the baby is an innocent being and she has no right to take away the life of her baby. But who would know Fate will deal them such a cruel blow? Surely her mum didn't bring the baby into this world to watch her suffer. And who's to say abortion would have been a better option?
A decided to have a donation drive at work to help F and her family cope with the extra financial burden. We didn't expect to raise a lot of money because everyone have their own obligations and problems. But we thought a little help will be better than nothing since F is already working to pay her own school fees. I do know there's so much one can give and we can't expect too much since F is only a working colleague to them and they are really not obliged to give. But giving is always better than receiving. When there is really nothing much we can do to alleviate the pain the family is going through, at least we can help lessen F's financial burden.
Dear God, please heal this little sweetheart. Give her strength to go through all this suffering. Please see her through all the tests the doctors will be running on her.. Help F and her family through this difficult time. Let them see Hope in this time of pain and despair.
Monday, September 03, 2007
This little sweetheart is F's baby sister. She's number 5 in F's family. She said hello to the world on Friday, 1 month early of her due date. Sadly, this little sweetie ain't gonna grow up a normal, healthy baby because on Saturday, she was diagonsed with down syndrome and luekemia.
I paid her a visit in the hospital today and it broke my heart to see her having to rely on a machine to breathe and feeding tubes for her to drink milk. Babies should never go through such terrible ordeals. It was painful to see her mum cry each time the doctors inject the baby to run tests.
F's mum apparently knew about the probability of her baby being a down syndrome baby considering the fact she's in her mid 40s. But to her, the baby is an innocent being and she has no right to take away the life of her baby. But who would know Fate will deal them such a cruel blow? Surely her mum didn't bring the baby into this world to watch her suffer. And who's to say abortion would have been a better option?
A decided to have a donation drive at work to help F and her family cope with the extra financial burden. We didn't expect to raise a lot of money because everyone have their own obligations and problems. But we thought a little help will be better than nothing since F is already working to pay her own school fees. I do know there's so much one can give and we can't expect too much since F is only a working colleague to them and they are really not obliged to give. But giving is always better than receiving. When there is really nothing much we can do to alleviate the pain the family is going through, at least we can help lessen F's financial burden.
Dear God, please heal this little sweetheart. Give her strength to go through all this suffering. Please see her through all the tests the doctors will be running on her.. Help F and her family through this difficult time. Let them see Hope in this time of pain and despair.
Staring into the Abyss,
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